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Kitsu Kitsu is a Female
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Sorry to rant anew, but I need to bend ears... Post Reply with Quote Edit/Delete Post Report Post to a Moderator        IP Information Go to the top of this page

Okay, guys, I have a bit of a situation and I'm trying to get as many opinions/advice as I can. Sometimes others think of things I haven't (and believe me, my mind is going constantly on this subject atm) so here's the story:

My son, who was 7 days shy of being 15 at the time, was at the park with a friend. They had half days of school as it was near the end of the year and both only had one early morning final that day. My son takes the bus home, so he and his friend decided to kill a few hours until it was time to get on the bus.
Obviously teenaged boys are idiots and do dumb things... Well, teens in general do dumb things. Well, my son found this nearly empty plastic drink bottle and, typical boy, he started tossing it in the air, trying to get it on the roof of the pavilion that was there.
But this is my kid we're talking about... He's an uncoordinated as his mom. So the bottle did hit the roof, but it kind of bounced off and hit a car passing by. The car stopped and a man (about the age of my hubby and I) got out of the car and started charging up towards my kid. He got scared, obviously. In this day and age and the way the US is now, you never know what people are going to do. And he's just a kid. So at first he ran, afraid this guy was going to hurt him in some way. Well, eventually he stopped running (I guess he realized this guy wasn't going to murder him or kick his ass) and when the guy got close, he grabbed my son's arm and drug him about 100+ feet down to the road. Mind you, my son kept asking him to please let go, he'd willingly go down to inspect the car with him, but the guy refused to let go.
They get to the car where the guy's wife, who was also in the car, was waiting. Aside from the fact that they were both yelling and cursing at my son (hey, they don't know he hears the f-bomb used as an adjective in every day speech), they found no damage and my son said the wife told her husband that the bottle hit the windshield. In fact, my son said it was laying on the road in front of the car, meaning when they stopped, it slid off.
Now, since nothing was found as far as damage and everyone had gone on their merry way, my son said nothing. Typical teen, don't mention what happened as long as you're not in deep, right?
Two weeks later, I get this call from a cop in the town where this happened. Story goes, the incident occurred at 9:10AM and the couple didn't see damage (in broad daylight, mind you) and they supposedly didn't notice that there was a dent until they got home and put the car in the garage. They took it to the police station (which, btw, is right across the street from the park, so why they didn't go right away, I don't know), showed the cop the dent (no pictures of it, though) and once it was repaired, two weeks later, they had the cop contact me as a "go-between". I was told what happened (except that the guy assaulted my kid) and was told they wanted me to pay for the repairs or they would file a civil suit. Obviously I said no. That supposed damage could have happened any time between 9:10AM and later in the afternoon when they took it to the police station. I didn't see a dent, there are no pictures, and how do I know that, if there was a mechanic involved, that he wasn't a friend of theirs? The cop agreed that there was no way to prove my son caused this supposed damage, but reminded me that they would file a civil suit if I didn't pay it. I told him to tell this guy that that was fine, if he filed a suit, I would counter sue for assaulting my kid. I didn't hear anything else, so I figured the guy took my counter offer of "you forget the dent, I'll forget you assaulted my child".
How wrong I was...
A month after I spoke to the cop, I get this registered letter. Yup, he filed suit. I lost it completely... I was so angry, I had to call my hubby home from work early because I couldn't control myself.
I did call our lawyer and we spoke to him about all this. I went with the paperwork, the police report and my kid so he could tell his side of the story. He asked a lot of questions and he said this guy doesn't have a case. There's no proof of anything. The bad news is that, the way this guy had it written up, it sounds like they've already decided my kid is guilty. He admitted he was tossing the bottle, yeah, but he didn't admit to purposely throwing it at a car. I don't want to sound like one of those idiot parents, but I know my kid. If it hit this car, it was an accident. I know this because HE knows that if I find out he did it on purpose, he's going to be in the deepest of the deep you know what. Both my kids know, don't piss off mom, she'll scream herself stupid, her face will turn the loveliest shade of purple and her hand it going to make contact with you in a hard way. No, I don't condone child abuse, but a good smack across the face (since they're older now, a spanking is stupid) won't kill them. He also knows that we're all for military school if he gets in any kind of major trouble. He wouldn't purposely do something like that because he knows the consequences that will come from me and my hubby.
The problem is that the person who makes the final call is the magistrate, and from what the lawyer told us, the current one is the type that sees everything very black and white and takes everything at face value and won't look into other avenues. That's bad... I also hear he's an ex cop who likes to throw his weight around and acts like he knows everything. Great... That's not good. Thankfully, our lawyer is a great guy. At first he didn't want to help because we'd end up paying him as much or more than what this guy is seeking in damages, but once he was hearing more and more, he said he just may not charge it and do this for fun. He's a very... eccentric... type of guy. But a damned good lawyer!

Anyway... ever since I got this registered letter, I've been really stressed out. My hubby is working 2 jobs just so we can keep the roof of this row home in the "hood" over our heads and one car. We're struggling, and to say we don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of is an understatement. I feel these people are trying to scam us out of money...
I've been so upset, I've literally made myself sick. I spent several days eating next to nothing, all of it bland, and I still felt I was going to vomit all the time. I couldn't sleep, either. I was constantly waking up all night long and still am. Then I started with these aches all over and chills so bad they made the flu look like a stubbed toe. I even went to the doctor to see what the hell was wrong because I had no cold symptoms, no fever. They actually sent me for blood work because they thought I might have Lyme disease, but everything came back fine. I'm assuming it's just the stress of the situation getting to me.

So... if you guys were in this situation, what approach would you take? Am I missing something in this situation that may be helpful to consider or at least look at? I'm at a real loss, here, so if you guys have any advice or thoughts, let me know, please.

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No new posts 31-07-2018 17:01 Kitsu is offline Search for Posts by Kitsu Add Kitsu to your Buddy List
KT1972 KT1972 is a Female
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Sorry, I don't know much about the legal system where you are, but there's one thing I am wondering.

If your son was at the park with his friend, then can this friend be called as a witness? It seems to me that if you can have another pair of eyes, at least to back up the assault on your son (because it seems to me that there's no evidence of that either) then that might strengthen your case.

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No new posts 31-07-2018 21:35 KT1972 is offline Send an Email to KT1972 Search for Posts by KT1972 Add KT1972 to your Buddy List
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Kitsu, I believe you should trust your lawyer and let him pursue this matter. He's certain he can drop-kick those bullies to another continent (otherwise, he wouldn't be willing to do it for free), so let him do what he does well.

Those people strike me as the type who are, basically, professional bullies. Yes, they can be very scary. However, they had no business chasing down your son, grabbing him, and then cussing him out. (True, they were mad at him, but it was their responsibility to act like adults.) And then they used the threat of a lawsuit to intimidate you and your husband into paying for bogus damage to their car. (By the way, that's extortion.)

Kitsu, I understand how frightening this could be. But you've got LOTS of things working for you! Take a deep breath, fix yourself some herbal tea, and watch the events unfold. Hopefully they will be smart enough to realize that they can't get away with these kind of acts, leave you alone, and don't even think of doing this to anybody else!

Please keep us in the loop.

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Becky Rock Becky Rock is a Female
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Kitsu, I grew up in a police family and my father was a Police Chief for 6 years. I'm not an expert but I have picked up a lot from listening to my father, uncle and brother talking about their cases.

First, check the time. They say this happened at 9:10 AM. When was your son at school? Is there a conflict on the time? (I know your son admitted to what he had been doing, which wasn't throwing bottles at cars). My brother did have a case in which the time was in conflict so it had to be dropped.


You have no proof of the damage. Have they provided a time and date stamped picture showing it? Why didn't their insurance contact you? (I'm assuming your son gave them your name and/or address in order for you to receive the letter). Did they even make a claim with their insurance company? If not, why? Was the repair work done by a mechanic or body shop? Was that person/business authorized by the by the insurance company to do the repair work?

Counter sue in civil court for damages for your son having been attacked - the guy did chase him and drug him by the arm, no doubt inflicting a bruise. As you stated, they way things get blown out of proportion today, your son could have been fearing for his life. Your son has probably has anxiety attacks about it in some manner.

Why didn't the guy call the police right when it first happened? Because it wasn't a big deal to him at the time?


I hope your lawyer has something up his sleeve. In the meantime, I agree with KT. Take a deep breath and just go with the flow. This has been a lesson for your son.

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by Becky Rock on 01-08-2018 at 00:34.
No new posts 01-08-2018 00:33 Becky Rock is offline Send an Email to Becky Rock Search for Posts by Becky Rock Add Becky Rock to your Buddy List
Kitsu Kitsu is a Female
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Omg, thanks for the extra brains! It really helps! Smile

KT: Yes, his friend was there the whole time and saw everything. The problem is that my son told me he wouldn’t be able to testify because the boy’s father doesn’t like my son, reason being that they usually get into trouble when they’re together. Yeah, well, I’m not keen on his kid, either. Same reason... Usually it’s just mischief stuff, but I think what this boy’s father is referring to is the time some kid started a fight with my kid, his friend broke it up and all 3 got in trouble. School is weird today... Anyway, I’m going to keep trying. I do need this friend to testify badly. Fingers crossed!

EW: Damn good point, that IS extortion, isn’t it...? Hmm... Think I’ll mention that to the lawyer, it may be important Wink And you’re right, I should trust my lawyer and try to relax. Herbal tea sounds good right about now. And maybe a Gatchaman marathon! That always makes me smile! Smile

Becky: Holy hell, you gave me tons to use!
Well, my son said it was 9:20, but 10 minutes difference, especially with a kid, I don’t know if that would help. And as far as I know, there are no pictures, or that’s what the cop said when I asked him if there were any.
Honestly, I was wondering the same thing about them not going through their insurance. That’s what people do with car damage, right? They go through their car insurance. So no insurance claim, no pictures of damage... Supposedly there is a receipt from whoever fixed it at the magistrate’s office, but I haven’t seen it and the lawyer said they didn’t have to send me a copy. Be that as it may, I’d like to see it, how much it was for, what person or place did it...
And I wondered also why they didn’t tell the cops right away. The police station was literally across the street! Wtf!
I was hoping to counter sue. You’re right, my son is also bipolar and has anxiety, and this guy scared the hell out of him. Not to mention how badly this has amped up my own anxiety.

Thanks for all the help guys! Hopefully I’ll kick ass with my lawyer and teach people like this a lesson! Smile

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