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Julieann
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Father Rooster, AKA Dad, had been fighting bladder cancer for well over a decade. It would go into remission, then a small spot would show and they would treat it. Back into remission. But, despite a lot of people with his type of cancer, it was never cured.

This winter his doctor suggested it was time for major surgery. Just go and get it all taken out while the cancer is still contained. Problem fixed. Don't have to worry about cancer unless a new one comes along.

So, went in for a full day of tests in the first week of January to prepare for the big surgery to have the bladder and prostate taken out. Everything going good. Then at the end of the day the surgeon's nurse came in, sat down, and goes, "I'm so sorry, but we're not going to be able to do the surgery."

Turned out the PET scan lit up all over the place. Not only was the cancer not contained, but it had had time to move into the bone of the hip, several vertebrae and a rib. Total shock to everyone. Everyone thought the cancer was still contained.

Things kinda went fast then. They isolated his one good kidney from the bladder to a bag out the back. Started going in for a bunch of consultations and tests to prepare for treatment. Had just been approved for a very interesting clinical trial that had a lot of promise....

And the night before his first official treatment we were at the hotel in Phoenix so we could be there really really early for his first immuno-infusion, when he went into toxic sepsis. I discovered it in the morning, called the ambulance, and because we were just a block from the hospital we had him there for treatment within the hour. Turned out he had gone septic with not just one deadly bacteria, but with two.

He had just started to recover, we transferred him to a rehab facility to help him get his strength back, when the doctors at the rehab center nearly killed him. Long story short, but I finally pulled the plug, TOLD them we were transferring him back to the hospital...

We arrived there to find out that he'd gone septic with yet at THIRD bacteria. Unfortunately, all of this had triggered the cancer to start releasing deadly amounts of calcium into his blood stream. He started sleeping and sleeping. And just didn't wake up. I kept him on life support for enough time for my sister to fly across country.

My sister took off from one of the last flights out of Atlanta for a while. The day before she arrived the hospital we had Dad in had just started going into lockdown for the Covid pandemic. To be honest, with everything happening with Father Rooster I hadn't been watching the news. I'd started hearing about this 'covid' thing but that was about it. Suddenly I was having to deal with nurses, then doctors, and then administrators in order to make some arrangements.

Thankfully, I was able to get Father Rooster into Hospice at the hospital to where he didn't need to be moved (the cancer going into this spine was causing a lot of pain). And I was able to get an exception for my sister to be in his room so he wouldn't have to be alone. She couldn't go in and out. When I left I said my goodbyes because I wouldn't be able to go back in. I had to keep at it with all the higher-ups to keep my sister in there as the covid lockdowns continued, but I managed it.

And then Father Rooster surprised us all by surviving for almost 8 days even though his kidneys were shutting down, he was pretty much in a coma, and so fragile that an ambulance ride would have killed him. Unfortunately it wasn't as easy a passing as it had been for Mother Hen.

It's still a shock. It happened so so fast. We were going in for a surgery that would take care of the cancer to suddenly scrambling to treat stage-4 cancer, to the septic shock. To him just starting to sleep because of being septic and the calcium issue. Then gone.

Thankfully I've had the local support of my Aunt (Mother Hen's sister). I knew being alone would not be a good idea, I wouldn't be able to work because of the state shut-down, so when I asked her if it would be okay if I came over to live with her for a bit, she invited me to come live with her. Not just temporarily, but for a while and perhaps even permanently.

I'm not making any long-term plans at this point. I know that is a bad bad idea. But I'm in a good place physically right now. I have a lot of work to get the household moved, but that's waiting until I feel that it's safe to be traveling half-way across the state to pack the house and RV. My Aunt is in her mid-70's and I'm not about to risk her health.

So a few fandom things have been delayed, but I'm still slowly working on the fan site. It's just that this event with Father Rooster has derailed me for a bit.

And for those of you who write fanfic, please continue to do so. I've been binging on it. At the hospital, in the rehab center, and now in lockdown. I'm so loving it. (although I can't handle any death-fics, even ones that I've enjoyed in the past. For obvious reasons.) Please keep writing!

Sniffle

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Julieann
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Katblu42 Katblu42 is a Female
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Huggles Huggles Huggles

Sending you many virtual hugs and lots of love. I know how hard this all must be.
Even after going through a similar loss I have trouble finding the right words at times like these. My thoughts are with you and your family. Don't stress about delays with fandom stuff. We know that looking after you is more important.
I'm so glad you have family support around you. And of course you have your Gatchamania family here too, and the enjoyable distraction provided by the fan-fic.

Heart Heart

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So sorry fr your loss, Julieann. Don't worry about us and the fandom, we can take care of ourselves for a while longer.

Sending all my love, and remember, if you need to rant at the world, then just go ahead, we're listening, and this is the place to do it.

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My heart breaks for you, Juliann. While I haven't had your experience, I've had family take sudden turns, and I had sepsis a year ago (though it was "only" MRSA and not the multi-bug attack your dad had).

It's important that you take care of yourself. Eat regularly. Get enough sleep. Do what soothes your soul.

And never forget you have folks here3 for you.

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I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Julieann. My prayers are with you and your family.

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Many virtual hugs coming your way...

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I'm sorry to hear you've gone through so much. Thank you for all you do in the fandom.

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Warmest condolences Julieann! As we say in Greece, may you live to remember him Huggles

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Julieann, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. There's no timetable for grief - take the time you need, we'll all be here when you're ready

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