This idea was in my head when I woke up on the last morning of 2014. So now I give you something to enjoy as the memory of the passing of the old year still slams around in your skull!
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"7-Zark-7 to G-Force. come in, G-Force!"
"Ears on, Zark."
"Commander, the Phoenix must return to Earth immediately ! A Spectra attack is imminent!"
"How much time do we have?"
"Three to five hours before they reach Earth orbit."
"What?!" the second cried, "How did that happen?"
A pause.
"Zark?" the commander asked.
"I'm afraid there were technical difficulties." Zark replied with a synthetic sigh, "I was completely unaware until the de Grasse Tyson station on Mars detected the incoming bogey."
* * * * *
FACT: The Plutonian New Year is not due for another 239 Earth years.
However, every 365 Earth days (or 366, if it is an Earth Leap Year) the Early Warning Station's AI, Susan, puts her antennae in curlers and contacts 7-Zark-7 on Earth. They then spend as much time as possible having a conversation that, at first blush, seems to be about New Year's hopes and resolutions. However, in never takes long for the talk to become bawdier than many soft porn movies.
"...I don't understand why human males look forward to seeing things drop," Zark said, "when they seem to prefer having things rise !"
"Oh Zark!" Susan breathed.
"One moment, Susan," Zark took on a serious tone, "I'm getting a call from the de Grasse Tyson station..."
It was just an instant in human time, but it seemed much longer to the AIs.
"Oh good heavens, Susan!" Zark cried, "Martian sensors have detected a Spectran warship heading for Earth!"
"Oh no!" Susan gasped, "It must have slipped by when I was putting my antennae in curlers! I feel so terrible --"
"Don't worry, Susan, I'll take care of this!... 7-Zark-7 to G-Force. come in, G-Force!"
* * * * *
Millions of people visit New York City for the New Year's celebration. Even if the Early Warning System on Pluto had functioned properly, evacuating this population would be a logistical nightmare. Still, somehow, the streets were empty when the Phoenix flew overhead. There was no sign of Spectra, even though the warship should have arrived at least an hour before G-Force, who had to rush back from the outer edge of the Kuiper Belt.
"This is givin' me the creeps." Tiny muttered as he saw the images of an empty Times Square on the main monitor. The only hint of the New Year's celebration was the lit ball waiting to drop; not even a party hat was left in the streets.
"It is a bit...unnerving." Mark agreed. "Anything on the sensors?"
"Nothing." Jason replied, "I think Zark's finally blown one too many fuses."
"Mark," Princess interjected, "a mecha has just destroyed the Unisphere and is heading this way!"
"What's...the Unisphere?" Keyop asked. Just then, the giant metal globe that was featured in the 1964 World's fair arced across the viewscreen. "Never mind." Keyop muttered.
"Okay, that came from Queens..." Before Tiny could say anything else, the warship from Spectra appeared before them. This thing wasn't an animal-based design or a distortion of the humanoid form. It looked like a baseball player from the late 1800's, complete with moustache connected to the sideburns on its face and an early-model Louisville Slugger in its hand.
"What is that thing?" Jason asked as soon as he reached the front of the cockpit and looked at the monitor.
It landed on Broadway by the Times building. It took a batting stance and swung at the ball that was to mark the end of the year. Hundreds of shattered Waterford crystal panels glistened like snow as the wind carried the debris between the buildings.
G-Force gawked in shock for a moment. But that was all the time needed for the mecha to let out a distorted laugh and launch itself into the air.
Tiny let out a startled cry as he snapped back to reality and sent the Phoenix into pursuit after the mecha.
"Go after it, Tiny!" Mark ordered.
They had just gotten past Hudson Bay when Jason got a lock on his target and hit the red button. The mecha exploded into a shower of shimmering sparks.
"My, I'm certainly glad that's over with!" Zark said in a relieved tone, "I don't know what I'd do if anything bad happened to those five brave youths! They say robots have no feelings, but the sensations I experience must be similar to what a parent must feel.
"Well," Center Neptune's guardian continued, "now that Earth has once again been saved, there is something I must tend to....7-Zark-7 to Susan. Come in, Susan!..."
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“There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them." --Ray Bradbury
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