It's the middle of the NCAA basketball tournament (a.k.a. "March Madness"). On Friday, March 29, the police in Lexington, Kentucky issued this plea: Please do NOT drag your furniture into the streets to burn! Yes, you read right. And, yes, there's more to this story. The University of Kentucky is located in Lexington, so it's impossible to throw a rock without hitting a few dozen Wildcats fans. While other people save for retirement, these folks save for a UK-themed funeral, complete with University of Kentucky licensed casket and headstone! There is no word in the English language that describes the level of devotion of these people. Whenever the Wildcats win a game (in any sport), the fans in Lexington drag their couches into the streets and burn them. Yes, they burn their own couches when their team wins. (I suspect the bulk of their student debt comes from frequently replacing furniture instead of paying tuition, books, lab fees, and so on.) Why do they do this? Nobody knows. It may be a question that will Perplex humanity for the rest of time. Please don't let this prompt perplex you!

I'm perplexed about the idea of them wanting a UK themed funeral!!

Originally posted by KT1972 I'm perplexed about the idea of them wanting a UK themed funeral!!

I must admit that when I first read that bit I thought of tea and scones and Union Jack bunting! A University themed funeral is just as puzzling to me.

Originally posted by Katblu42

Originally posted by KT1972 I'm perplexed about the idea of them wanting a UK themed funeral!!

I must admit that when I first read that bit I thought of tea and scones and Union Jack bunting! A University themed funeral is just as puzzling to me.

I wouldn't be surprised if there are several anthropological studies being done....and it gets more bizarre if you add University of Louisville fans!

Originally posted by Katblu42

Originally posted by KT1972 I'm perplexed about the idea of them wanting a UK themed funeral!!

I must admit that when I first read that bit I thought of tea and scones and Union Jack bunting! A University themed funeral is just as puzzling to me.

You're not alone. It took me about thirty seconds to realise that EW meant "University of Kentucky." (On my planet, UK is short for the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.) I hadn't had my coffee.

Anyway, meanwhile, somewhere in the depths of gatchamania.net... "Help! I need somebody!" All eyes turned away from the large television screen and focussed on Joe Asakura, who was standing in the doorway of the rumpus room, a stricken expression on his face. "Now I'm only falling apart!" Joe exclaimed. "Nothing I can do!" "Is this about the cyborg thing?" Princess asked. "Words don't come easy to me!" Joe declared, stretching out a hand in entreaty. "Well, yeah," Princess said. "You and Jason both tend to be a little on the laconic side..." Mark chuckled. "Like the Pope's a little on the Catholic side," he quipped. "One way or another," Joe growled, "I'm gonna find ya, I'm gonna get ya get ya get ya -- Aaaaargh!" The Condor clutched at his head with both hands. "Who the what now?" Mark asked, perplexed. Jason paled and took a deep breath. "Unresolved songfic," he said. "Geez, Joe, I'm sorry, man." "Oh, no," Jun said. She got out of her chair and walked over to Joe, who stood in abject misery, head down. She gave her team mate a hug. "I had no idea." "What are we going to do?" Jinpei asked the room in general. Jun disengaged from her sisterly hug and glanced over her shoulder. "Princess?" Princess was on her feet. "Let's do this." Ken stood up. "I should go with you." Princess shrugged. "Sure. You can, um..." "Stand guard?" Jun suggested. "Yeah..." Princess said. "That. Well, c'mon, then. That songfic isn't going to unjam itself." She grabbed Joe by one wrist and hauled him down the corridor, followed by Jun and Ken. "Wait for us!" Jinpei called as Keyop broke into a series of incomprehensible babbling. The youngest members of the KNT and G-Force bounded after their older colleagues. "Oh, now that's just nasty," Princess declared, hands on hips. Joe and his would-be rescuers had followed a hyperlink to fanfiction.net. Stray HTML tags flapped overhead while feral voles darted in and out of links and stagnant user profiles. "This is how a heart breaks," Joe said. "This is how my brain breaks," Princess corrected. "I'm not crazy," Joe said. "I'm just a little unwell." Jinpei grinned. "Debatable," he said, then a glare from Joe had him hiding behind Keyop, who shrugged and stammered. "I'm as helpless as a kitten up a tree," Joe sighed. "Not for much longer," Princess said. "Keyop, hand me that wrench, will you?" "S... sure!" Keyop said. He reached into hammerspace and hauled out an oversized monkey wrench labelled 'ACME'. "Perfect," Princess said. "I think I love you," Joe said. "Thank me later," Princess said. She took three steps forward and swung the wrench. It connected with an HTML tag, which shattered and flew apart in a whirring flock of elements. Princess glanced around and pointed at one of the stray tags flying lazily overhead. "That one!" she declared. Keyop whirled his bolas and threw. Jinpei raced foward and grabbed the tag, which struggled and snapped as he disentangled it. "Hammertime!" Joe declared. "Exactly," Princess said and swapped the wrench for an enormous ACME sledgehammer. After a moment, the tag had been hammered into place. The voles, which had backed away at all the noise, began to sniff around and approach. Ken drew his birdrang. "Jun? Princess? Are we done?" he asked. "We should get out of here," Joe said. He brightened and grinned. "Hey! I can talk normally again!" The small group hurried back to gatchamania.net. It wasn't long before an articulate and very relieved Joe Asakura was being welcomed back by his friends. "You're just lucky Jason figured it out so soon," Mark said. "Yeah," Tiny said, rubbing his chin. "How did you know what was wrong?" "Oh..." Jason said. "Uh... no reason." "When did it happen to you?" Ryu asked. "Ancient history," Jason mumbled, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. "It's how we knew what to do," Jun explained. "Only last time, it took way longer to figure things out," Princess said. "There are few things that perplex me more than an unresolved songfic." "There ougtha be a law," Joe muttered darkly.