Expendable Galactor Goon: Trouble at secret base. Garishly accoutred Galactor Captain: Oh no - what kind of trouble? Expendable Goon: Yon control rod's gone askew on't cooling rack. Garishly accoutred Captain: Pardon? Expendable Goon: Yon control rod's gone askew on't cooling rack. Garishly accoutred Captain: I don't understand what you're saying. Expendable Goon: [slightly irritatedly and with exaggeratedly clear accent] One of the control rods has fallen askew on the cooling rack. Garishly accoutred Captain: Well, what does that mean? Expendable Goon: *I* don't know - Lieutenant Phlegm just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the secret base, that's all - I didn't expect to be interrogated like a prisoner of the Science Ninja Team. [JARRING CHORD] [The door flies open and the Kagaku Ninja Tai enters.] Ken: NOBODY expects the Science Ninja Team! Sometimes five, sometimes one... Sometimes three, or usually four, because Ryu tends to stay with the ship... Six if you count Hakase... We'll come in again. [The KNT exits] Expendable Goon: I didn't expect to be interrogated like a prisoner of the Science Ninja Team. [JARRING CHORD] [The KNT bursts in] Ken: NOBODY expects the Science Ninja Team! We can be any whole number up to and including six, but usually five... or four... [To Joe] I can't say it. You'll have to say it. Joe: Huh? Ken: You're going to have to say the part about 'Sometimes five, sometimes one...' Joe [rather horrified]: Kuso! [Ken bundles the team outside again] Expendable Goon: I didn't expect to be interrogated like a prisoner of the Science Ninja Team. [JARRING CHORD] [The KNT enter] Joe: Um... Nobody... uh.... Ken: Expects... Joe: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the Science Ninja... ah... Ken: Team Joe: Okay, I got it. Nobody expects the Science Ninja Team! In fact, those who do expect - Ken: Sometimes five... Joe: Sometimes five, sometimes...um...uh... Ken: One... Joe: One... and -- Ken: Okay, hold it. Stop. Stop there. Stop. Aaagh! ... There are several of us. Joe, read the charges! Joe: You have the right to remain silent, even if I'm taking you apart limb from limb. You have the right to bleed -- and know that if you bleed on me, I'm going to get really mad. You have the right -- Ken: Joe, those are rights. Galactor scum don't HAVE rights. The CHARGES. Jun, you do it. Jun: Charges? Oh. I've got Cemtex... black powder... gelignite... Ken: [To the Garishly Accountred Captain] How do you plead? Garishly Accountred Captain: We're innocent! Ken: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! [DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER] Jinpei: We'll soon change your mind about that! [DIABOLICAL ACTING] Ken: Sometimes five, sometimes four... [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ryu! --THE DRUGS! [Ryu produces an economy sized bottle of chewable orange flavoured vitamin C. Ken looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control.] Ken: I can't believe... Okay. Whatever. Restrain the prisoners. [Joe and Jun seize the Galactors] Ken: How do you plead? Garishly Accountred Captain: Innocent. Ken: Ha! Ryu, administer... [he sighs heavily] the drugs. [Ryu crams chewable orange flavoured Vitamin C pills into the mouths of the prisoners] Ken: This is pathetic. [Cut to new sketch - The Old Lady Joe hit with his car and The Woman Captain (aka Katse) are sitting on a sofa in the Old Lady's apartment] Old Lady: This is Misha in front of the house. [She hands over the photo and The Woman Captain tears it up.] This is Misha at the back of the house. [She hands over the photo and The Woman Captain tears it up.] And this is Misha at the side of the house. [She hands over the photo and The Woman Captain tears it up.] This is Misha back again at the front of the house, but you can see the side of the house. [She hands over the photo and The Woman Captain tears it up.] And this is Misha even nearer the side of the house, but you can still see the front. [She hands over the photo and The Woman Captain tears it up.] This is the back of the house, with Misha coming round the side to the front. [She hands over the photo and The Woman Captain tears it up.] And this is the Science Ninja Team hiding behind the wood pile. [The Woman Captain takes it with the first sign of real interest.] Woman Captain: Oh! I didn't expect the Science Ninja Team. [JARRING CHORD] [The door flies open - The Science Ninja Team enters.] Ken: Nobody expects the Science Ninja Team! [He confronts the old lady] Now, madam -- you are accused of subversive behaviour on three counts -- subversion of thought, subversion of word, subversion of deed, and subversion of action -- *four* counts. Do you confess? Old Lady: I don't understand what I'm accused of. Ken: Ha! Then we'll make you understand! Joe! Fetch...THE DAISIES! [JARRING CHORD] [Joe holds out an ordinary bunch of yellow daisies] Joe: Here they are. Ken: Now, -- you have one last chance. Confess your subversive activites, give us the names of your accomplices -- *two* last chances. And you can be rehabilitated -- *three* last chances. You have three last chances, the nature of which were divulged previously. Old Lady: I don't know what you're talking about. Ken: All right! If that's the way you want it -- Joe! Let her have the daisies! [Joe presents the old lady with the daisies] Old Lady: My, aren't these lovely? Ken: Confess! Confess! Confess! Jun: It doesn't seem to be bothering her, Ken. Ken: Have they got pollen on them? Joe: Yes. Ken: [angrily snatches and hurles away the daisies] Huh! She thinks she can fool us! Old Lady: Oh... I thought I might put them in water... Ken: Jinpei! Fetch... The DOLPHIN MASSAGER! [JARRING CHORD] [Zoom into Jun's horrified face] Jun [terrified]: The...Dolphin Massager? [Jinpei flourishes a transparent blue plastic dolphin massager] Ken: So you think you're pretty tough because you can survive the daisies. Well, we'll soon see how tough you really are. Jinpei! Do your worst! [Jinpei begins to apply the massager to the old lady's shoulders] Old Lady: Ooooh, a little to the left. Ken [with a cruel leer]: Now... [aside, to Joe] Is that really all it is? Joe: [shrugs] Yes. Ken: I see. I guess we make it worse by shouting? Confess, old woman! Confess! Confess! Confess! Confess! Ryu: I confess! Ken: Not you!

The first one especially made me laugh out loud.