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LOL! Or the short version for posting on Twitter (the formatting may not be correct - I don't Tweet since there's no mobile phone coverage out here): @KenTheEagle: In the event you do something I don't like, please indicate your preference: cremation or burial. @CondorJoe: @KentheEagle Why bother? They'll never find the body. @KenTheEagle: @CondorJoe Jun said I had to be nice. @CondorJoe: @KenTheEagle I'm not nice. @KenTheEagle: @CondorJoe That's a given, but your wife isn't as scary as mine.

LOL and more LOL! How about: * If she consents and really wants to have sex, and you don't use a condom, I will geld you.

*If you want to have sex with my darling baby girl. Don't even think about touching her, refer to the above list if you do. Got it! *If you want to propose marriage to my daughter. You have to pass a full FBI, INTERPOL, NINJA test, fail any of these. Think about moving to another planet. * If your caught fooling around behind her back. Note that I can shoot a can of cola at 100000000 yards. You think you can escape me?

In the unlikely event you escape me, I'd like to introduce you to her uncle...