CHAPTER ONE Chapter 1 Keyop trudged from table to table, lugging the bussing bin as he went. It figured, Princess had promised that if it was slow, he could go over to Tiny's for a monster movie marathon. Instead, the place was packed! He couldn't remember the last time that had happened. The whole stupid world was out to get him. He was sure of it. What made it worse was the trio of kids sitting near the front. They were his age, two of them maybe a little younger and the other maybe a little older, and they were having a blast. Having to bus near them was torture. He wanted to laugh with them, and shoot paper missiles into drinks, snickering when other customers didn't even notice. Darn it, he wanted to be a regular kid! Just as he was about to give them a wide berth, he realized they had empty plates that need to be removed. Crud. Cursing his life under his breath, Keyop lugged the bin over, doing his best not to meet their eyes as he cleared their table. "Hey," said the one who looked like the eldest with a welcoming grin, "wanna join us?" Keyop's eyes went wide. These kids wanted to hang out with some loser working in a diner? Unable to muster a coherent word, he pointed at himself with a question of a squeak. "Yes, you!" The kid chuckled. "We're almost ready to go. Ditch this place and come have some fun!" He shouldn't. Keyop glanced toward the counter, where Princess was coyly flirting with a handsome customer, though he could tell it was just a game. Why did she get to have fun while he did all the drudge stuff? "You can leave, right?" The kid leaned closer. "You're not a slave or something, are you?" Keyop stared back at him. It was a ridiculous question, but the sharp look within those brown eyes suggested that he was actually worried. Afraid that his strange way of talking would ruin things, Keyop shook his head. The kid looked at him oddly for a moment, then put a hand on his shoulder, smiling. "Can't talk? That's okay, we can still have fun. When we clear out we'll wait out back for you. Meet us there." Keyop nodded, then finished clearing their table. If he spent more time chatting with them Princess would notice and get annoyed. He needed a plan to slip away, and he needed it quick. While he'd get a huge lecture from Princess, and maybe Mark, on living up to his responsibilities, he just couldn't risk losing the chance to have some fun with some normal kids for once. Especially kids who were willing to play with someone like him. Whatever punishment followed, it'd be worth it. Keeping a close eye on the table of kids, Keyop threw himself into his work. The less of a mess he left, the better the chance Princess wouldn't kill him, so he did his very best until he saw the kids paying their bill. As they headed out the door, the eldest turned and caught his eye, winking before they exited the lit cafe and stepped out into the night. Shoving down whatever bit of guilt he felt, he set his bus tray in the kitchen and found Princess. She was busy with a customer, so that was in his favor. The moment he could catch her attention, he said, "Gotta go *breep* out for a *broop* second. Will finish *root toot* cleaning later. Bye!" Without giving her a chance to respond, he ducked out of the cafe's back door. His heart pounded as he stepped out into the fresh breeze, the song of freedom irresistible as he found that the kids really were out back, waiting for him. They all grinned as he joined them. "All right," said the eldest, rubbing his hands together. "It's time to have some fun." # Princess finished cleaning the last of the tables, resisting the urge to pitch a fit. This should all have been done last night. Keyop had promised. Instead, he was nowhere to be found, and Jill's was too close to opening for her to track him down and make him do it himself. Once the cleaning was done, however, she was free to do whatever she wanted. She started by checking Keyop's room yet again. The bed was unmade. His window was half open, though that wasn't unusual. In a moment of panic she searched to make sure he hadn't set up any little live bug, rodent, or other creature traps and was trying to lure them in. To her relief, she found nothing. Though, it wouldn't be the first time she'd missed one. After searching for a few more minutes for nasty surprises, Princess turned her attention back to Keyop himself. As far as she could tell he hadn't been home since the night before, when he said something vague about stepping outside for a second. She pursed her lips. Clever little brat. Next, she grabbed her cell phone, since this wasn't exactly a team emergency. Odds were that he was with Tiny, so she dialed his number. "Hey, Princess, what's up?" A small sigh of relief escaped her. She always knew she wasn't going to like what was going on when Tiny dodged her calls. "Hey, tell Keyop that next time he wants to spend the night at your place, he needs to be honest about what he's doing." "Uh ..." There was a pause. "He's not here, Prin. I haven't seen him since I left Jill's last night." "Very funny." Princess huffed and imagined Keyop sitting on the couch, snickering, as Tiny bluffed for him. "No, really!" Princess bit her lip. "Maybe he came back and left again and I missed him." "Want me to see if I can track him down?" She looked up the stairs, telling herself not to panic. Her little brother was very much a free spirit. He could have nipped out any number of times without her knowing. "Maybe he left me a note and I missed it. I'll look for that and then give him a call first. If I can't find him, I'll text you." "Big ten!" A smile spread across her face even as she started the hunt for a note left in an ill thought out place. Tiny's calm rock of a presence always helped her ground herself. Still, though, she could easily believe that Keyop was hiding out at their fifth's place and that both of them were now giggling at the thought of her tearing Jill's upside down looking for clues. If this turned out to be another stunt, she'd show them what a real prank looked like. # At nineteen, Mark had already done countless meticulous grid searches, hunting for Spectran agents in densely populated cities. In the past, he'd endured the others' cries of boredom over their communicators with as much patience as he could, not understanding how all the sights and sounds to process could be that mind-numbing. Today, he finally understood. Somehow he'd let Princess rope him into searching Keyop's favorite haunts. It didn't help to know that Jason and Tiny were out there doing the same, whining in texts on their cell phones so the Chief wouldn't find out that that Keyop wasn't answering their calls and flip his lid. The area around Jill's was far too familiar, with little new or interesting to discover, and no sign of their chatty little brother. It was almost 2pm when his phone chimed with the special, gentle sound he used for Princess. Desperately hoping that she'd finally found Keyop, he checked his texts, only to see that it was time for a break and Jill was making them a late lunch. Mark sighed and texted back his food order. At least a break would relieve the boredom. Finding Keyop would make him feel better, though. #

Four bedraggled figures sat slumped in the Ready Room, exhausted from two days of searching, partly in the freezing rain. Princess had been through the whole gamut of emotions and had now settled on raw fear. How could Keyop just disappear? It started to build again, so she hopped to her feet, heading into the kitchenette. "Who wants cocoa?" "I'm gonna BE cocoa if I have any more," Jason grumbled. She ignored him and turned her attention to the task at hand. From the yelp she heard soon after, someone must have kicked him in the shin. Good. "I'll take some," said Tiny, speaking with pointed emphasis. "Me too," said Mark. "Three, then." She set out three mugs she'd already filled and washed multiple times. "This is stupid." Princess didn't need her enhanced hearing to know Jason stood and started pacing. He always muttered under his breath in the process. "It's probably Keyop's idea of a practical joke. He's having ice cream and playing video games somewhere and laughing his butt off." "That's possible." Mark spoke in his diplomat tone. "He knows better than not to answer an urgent message through his bracelet, though. That's cause for concern." Jason huffed and muttered again. Underneath his bluster Princess knew he was worried, so she resisted the urge to make cocoa for him anyway just to piss him off. As she delivered the mugs, the low whine of a screen coming to life grabbed her attention so abruptly that she almost spilled hot cocoa all over Mark's lap. Only his quick reflexes saved him as he reached to steady the mug, fingers closing around hers, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiled. "Careful, I might need that some day." Princess blushed. It was the most explicit thing he'd ever said to her on base. They usually kept to G-rated flirting there in case they were being watched. He winked and then stood, mug in hand as he looked to the screen. "What's the update, Zark?" "I have no good news, I'm afraid." The slight giddiness Princess had fluttering in her chest crashed down to her stomach, forming a knot. She set her mug down, then clasped her hands to keep herself from wringing them. "No sign of him?" "I've scanned through every square inch of security and other footage within a three mile perimeter around Jill's," said Zark, his antennae twitching. "I'm so worried about Keyop, he's such a fine young man, that I fear I might be imagining things. There's some footage that I'd like you to analyze." Princess realized she'd started wringing her hands anyway. She clenched them into fists. "If you're that concerned," said Mark, "we'll each watch the footage separately and then the five of us can compare notes." "Five? But there are ..." Zark's antennae sprung tall and straight. "Me! I'm the fifth! I'll send it the footage to each of your quarters immediately!" The screen winked into darkness. Jason groaned. "Do you have to encourage him?" Mark shrugged. "You remember what the Chief said. Plus, that's literally what we're going to do. Everyone, to your quarters. Keyop may be in trouble!" "Roger!" Princess wanted to grab him and kiss him. Instead, she dashed toward her room. As much as it pained her to admit, Mark was right. The Chief had made it clear that making Zark feel like part of the team grew a bond that would focus the robot and make him determined to offer the best possible support. Of course, not giving units like Zark emotions at all seemed the most sensible choice to her. Unfortunately that wasn't her decision to make. If that feature saved her little brother, though, then she'd happily participate for the rest of her life. # "Well, there's no denying it," sighed the Chief, staring at the image on the screen in their meeting room. "The lump in that bag is probably Keyop." Jason fought to ignore the halos around the room's lights. The last thing he needed right at that moment was a migraine. "Or he's playing a game and waiting for us to find him." The argument sounded lame even to him. Keyop might be an occasional brat, but even he wouldn't spend two days and a night hiding in some crawlspace just for a prank. Jason could feel Princess staring at him with a mix of frustration and empathy, but he just couldn't -- he wouldn't -- believe that their youngest member was taken. No way was his littlest brother being tortured by Spectra while they stood there twiddling their thumbs. "At this point," said the Chief, "we'll have to assume he was taken. I have to confess that if this is Spectra's work, they've reached a new low." Jason looked again at the image of the screen with a grimace. All of them agreed that if Keyop was in any of the security and tourist footage, this was the picture. "Children kidnapping children." Princess sounded so defeated. "It's terrible." "Or just kids taking out garbage," Jason pointed out. "Possibly." Mark sounded hesitant. "But I don't want to take any chances. I'd rather follow up on this and find out it's a prank than discover we did nothing and Keyop was suffering on Spectra while we went on with our lives." Jason tried to swallow around the lump in his throat, pain starting to spark behind his eyes from the pending migraine. "Yeah." "Zark is evaluating all of the remaining footage," said the Chief. "We should soon have some idea of where that bag was taken. Once he's tracked it as far as he can, you'll take over, and he'll go back over all of the footage if he has to. We can't risk missing anything." "We should be out canvassing." Mark stood. "We can take photos of the kids with us and ask if anyone knows them." "No." The Chief held his hand up when the others started to protest. "The Spectrans may be watching to try and discover your civilian identities. You might only confirm to them that they have the Swallow himself. I can send other agents." "Then what do we do?" Jason noticed that this time, no one stared at him like they wanted him to fall in line. Everyone's eyes were focused on their mentor. "You wait," said the Chief. "If you need to do something, go over footage again to see if Zark missed something." "That's what we'll do, then," said Mark. "Maybe our human eyes will spot something that a computer's wouldn't." A slight nod from the Chief dismissed them. Jason followed Mark out, wondering how long he'd be able to sort through video before the migraine hit full force. It wasn't fair. Mark and Princess had no side effects from the cerebonics. Tiny's weight issues and Keyop's speech -- though the scientists insisted that the cerebonics didn't cause the impediment -- were impossible to hide, so he supposed he shouldn't complain, but those problems never knocked either of them out of being able to function. As the others surged ahead, Jason found himself walking side by side with Mark. "You okay? You're getting pale." "I'm fine," Jason gritted out. "Though I'm gonna kick Keyop's butt if we find him hiding and having a great time." Mark smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "You and me both." While Jason was pretty sure Mark wasn't fooled, he was grateful that Mark didn't press further. There was nothing anyone could do without reducing his enhancements. No way was he allowing that. If he had to take a break and sleep the migraine off it was better than letting the whole team down when he couldn't do what was needed during a mission. He'd never be able to live with the consequences. # Tiny stared at the spaceburger dispenser. He knew he should be hungry, but he just couldn't eat. Not while knowing that his little buddy had vanished -- maybe literally -- off the face of the Earth. A week had gone by without any sign. Even Jason had stopped pretending that Keyop was hiding somewhere, safe and sound. The realization had sent chills down his spine. They'd given up searching videos, too. Instead, they perpetually had the news on, listening for any hint of the chaos Keyop might cause if he tried to escape. If Tiny heard one more sad sack commercial for Save the War Orphans -- a charity the team themselves already supported -- he was pretty sure his brain would try to escape out of his ears. Worse, he was starting to wonder whether the Federation news channels had lost their minds. According to the Federation News Network, Planet Arcturus was experiencing mass panic over the disappearance of every single Daisy Dolphin -- the hottest toy for the water planet's top children's gift-giving holiday. Even the ones that were already sold. Planet Ceros had riots, convinced that some strange Zenobian virus -- the one rumored to have wiped out most of Zeno's population -- had escaped from the Institute for the Study of Ancient Civilization on Earth and into their world. The craziest as far as he was concerned was the drop in tourism to Planet Eden. Who the heck would believe rumors that bedbugs were so rampant there that they were flooding not only the prized vacation planet, but the transport ships, space stations, and communities travelers returned to? Tiny shook his head. Maybe it was a Spectran plot. Hallucinogenics in the water systems? He yawned, part of him wanting to laugh at an idea that should have come from Keyop. All this sitting around was turning his head to mush. Time to wake himself up with a workout so he'd be ready for action when they found their smallest member. #

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Princess knew Mark was there. She could feel him watching her when she struggled not to cry in front of the TV. She felt his sad gaze whenever she tried to channel her worry and angst in training. She saw his awkward longing to help in the way he fidgeted, or sat next to her with his arm and leg touching hers, or nearly spoke and then stopped, obviously not knowing what to say. She knew he was there, but she found herself unable to accept, even if it hurt him. Her baby brother had no comfort. Why should she? Mark had shooed them all to the showers, dragged them to the ready room, personally went and got them food, watched them eat it, and then hustled them off to bed. When she'd tried to settle at her computer instead to look for any possible leads, he'd knocked on her door and threatened to cut off her network access. Princess wasn't sure which was worse. That he might manage it, or that once he broke it in whatever non-computer-specialist way he used, neither of them might be able to fix it. So, she lay there in bed, staring at the ceiling. Their quarters were designed to let no light in, even under the doors, but her cerebonics focused the tiny amount of ambient light available from devices to let her count the rivets in the reinforced ceiling tiles. Keyop was smart. No matter what was happening, she knew he'd send them a signal. The problem was whether they'd see it. That was her nightmare. Signals missed until it was far too late. But as much as she hated to admit it, Mark was right. If they were all exhausted, the signal could be right in front of their noses, and they'd be too tired to recognize it. She'd get back to work in the morning. She closed her eyes and smiled slightly, knowing that when she got up, she'd probably have to shoo Mark off to bed. He was putting up a good front, but it was easy in the middle of all of his lectures and pushing to forget that he needed someone to take care of him, too. She wouldn't let herself forget. # Jason had gone to bed only because it was easier to pass out from exhaustion than to keep from punching Mark during another speech. Not that he'd slept well. Time after time he'd awakened with a start, nightmares clinging to him like cobwebs that no amount of spazzing could get rid of. Now, he wanted to get up, but his body was so drained that his cerebonics were trying to shut him down. Part of him wanted to scream that he had to get up, he had to do something to find Keyop, yet he was in no shape to notice so much as a nuke blowing half a planet into pieces. "Screw it." Jason flopped back down onto the bed and made a cocoon of his covers. First he had to recharge. When they needed him, he'd be ready. # Tiny knew there was no one else in his quarters, but he still found himself looking around in a fit of paranoia. Once he was triply sure, he flipped his huge, framed print of the Phoenix to reveal the reverse side. There, on a corkboard affixed to the back, lived his secret passion: his conspiracy theory chart. Bits of paper and printouts were connected with pins and string, just like in the movies. That was one detail Keyop had insisted on. It was their "old-time spy" project. Without Keyop, it felt kind of wrong even to look. Even so, working on this map was helping him maintain his sanity, knowing that later he could catch Keyop up on everything he'd missed. Lately there were some doozies. The weird stuff happening all over the Federation, and even beyond, was so interesting that Tiny had tossed the old corkboard into the back of his closet with the others that he and Keyop had set aside for later. He'd also had to figure out some new symbols. It had taken him a while, but he'd gotten his hands on all the footage he could. Princess had helped. Usually, when he and Keyop asked her to help, she'd roll her eyes and eventually give in. Now she smiled and did it immediately. He felt like he was taking advantage of her, but at the same time knew that she was doing this more for Keyop than out of being guilted. Tiny reached into his pocket and pulled out baggies full of punched paper shapes. Going in by himself had never left him so embarrassed as it had that day. Usually, Keyop visited the base's scrapbooking club and used their equipment and supplies to pull everything together. Instead, he'd been stuck fumbling through it by himself, with some older female scientists giving him the creepy cougar eye. He pulled out the little gingerbread man shapes and sighed. They'd been the best he could come up with to represent cases where kids were involved. Keyop was going to get a huge laugh, and that thought made Tiny smile as he pulled out his list and started adding the symbols. Kids had been involved in the incidents on Arcturus, Ceros, Eden, Komedra, and even in Keyop's own disappearance. The kid would be thrilled to see that Tiny had added that incident to the board, too. As he added the markers, it wasn't long before a chill went down Tiny's spine. He froze, giving the board a long, hard stare before he was sure. Every single weird incident from the news involved kids. Not even teens, more like kids Keyop's age. He raised his bracelet to his mouth and hesitated. Should he show Mark the board? Or just tell Mark what he'd noticed? After a minute chewing his lip, Tiny decided to keep the board out of it. That was for him and Keyop and kind of Princess. Mark would find it quaint and weird. Telling Mark, though, meant Jason would find out, and the mockery could last weeks. "Tiny to Mark." There was a pause, and then Mark answered in a rough-sounding voice. "What is it, Tiny?" Tiny winced. Mark had finally gotten some sleep and he'd ruined it. Still, they all needed a lead. He took a deep breath and began to explain the best he could. If nothing else, it would distract them all with hope.

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If one more witness went on about little green men, Mark might actually join Jason in letting out silent screams of frustration between each interview. Either the entire planet -- no, the entire Federation -- had gone completely crazy, or someone was an absolute genius. He honestly wasn't sure which possibility scared him more. "This is bull!" Jason's cry boomed through the high school gym. Some of the kids recoiled, while others crossed their arms defiantly. "That's what we saw!" The girl Jason was interviewing stepped forward with clenched hands, her jaw set just like his. "Don't treat us like we're idiot kids!" Mark was pretty sure he heard Princess stifle a laugh. This girl was mirroring Jason so well that they could be siblings. Since Jason was giving him the signal to come take over before he completely blew his stack, Mark stepped in. "Why don't we take a break and let everyone simmer down. When things are this confusing, we all get frustrated." The girl huffed, smirking as Jason turned with a swirl of his cape and walked off. Mark would give just about anything at this point to run a genetic test and see if those two were related. It would be a welcome distraction. He glanced to Princess, who went to talk to the supervising adults. She'd get them to occupy the kids with something more fun for a bit before they started again. After all this time, he still couldn't believe that their visors and the "air of authority" they threw into their voices and body language meant that no one ever realized they weren't much older than these school kids. Just in case, though, he watched the teachers. They listened carefully to the Swan's suggestions and took charge of their students like it was the most natural thing in the world to be obeying her. Mark slowly relaxed. Hopefully Tiny was having better luck. Not to mention, he prayed that they could survive the eight remaining stops without Jason punching anyone out. # Tiny whistled as he worked. He'd played the janitor role before during infiltrations, but he found it worked better in civilian locations like schools than it did in Galactor bases. In bases, everyone was paranoid. In schools, recreation centers, and malls, people just lived their lives, usually trying to have fun. Paying attention to "the help" was so far down on their to priority list that he'd have to do the job naked before anyone noticed him. Over the last week they'd stopped at so many places that Tiny had lost count of how many times he'd donned the cover-alls. Mark, Jason, and Princess all looked at him with guilt more and more, but he'd given up trying to explain why he didn't mind. Usually he was stuck on the ship! To play an important part during missions, instead of just aiding in last moment escapes, meant the world to him. Not getting snide looks from people about his weight and uniform combined was even better. His janitorial walkie-talkie chirped. Tiny tapped the acknowledgement button and waited for a response. "I swear half the kids at this school are on drugs," grumbled a staff member over the tinny speaker. "We need someone from janitorial or maintenance to check out the gym storage area. Someone swears they found a little green man sleeping in there." A what? Tiny's eyebrows arched. That sounded more than promising. "I've got it." He'd taken a careful look over the school layout map earlier, memorizing it easily with his G-Force training. No one batted an eyelash as he dragged his cleaning equipment through the halls, navigating to the painfully cluttered gym storage area. How would anyone even know if something was out of place? Even though he'd been told exactly what to look for, he made a show of cleaning and tidying the equipment room as he searched. Making more of a mess would invite too much attention if someone walked in. It took him ages, but he eventually found what they were talking about. A small, green figure was curled up on a blanket in the farthest corner. Looking closer with the aid of his cerebonics, it was unnaturally still, and parts of it looked deflated. An empty costume, then? Why would someone bother to so carefully pose it? He chewed his lip for a moment and then raised his wrist. The others would want to see this. Best that he didn't disturb it until Princess could check to see if it was connected to a bomb or something. Good thing none of the kids had messed with it first. # Princess practically sprinted into the equipment room. Why someone would have reported this to the main office and not directly to them, she had no idea, but that didn't matter. Not as long as they finally had a lead. She found Tiny proudly standing over the "sleeping" form, glancing her way before returning his attention to their find. "Thought it might be trapped," he said, stepping back and giving her room to work. "Smart thinking." She resisted the urge to give him a hug -- that was unprofessional to do where outsiders could see -- and settled for a huge smile instead. His flush told her that he'd gotten the message. That taken care of, Princess crouched and began to examine the scene. It definitely looked like an abandoned disguise. The more thoroughly she searched, the more she was sure that it wasn't trapped, or connected to anything that was. Able to breathe again and stop worrying about the students Mark and Jason were slowly dismissing, Princess gestured for Tiny to move back. When he did, she gave the blanket an experimental tug. Nothing. No clicks. No fizzles. Once the blanket was close enough to give her better access to the disguise, she examined it closer. The suit was definitely empty. It was high quality, though, something that might be used on a movie set rather than on a child trick-or-treating. The prosthetics that would have been attached to the face and skin were glued to mannequin parts and the others appeared to have been stitched into place. "So, what do you think?" Tiny peered over her shoulder. "An elaborate prank?" Princess found herself unsure. These creatures had been seen in more than one Komedran city, waving little "ray guns" and demanding "Take us to your leader!" "That's a whole lot of trouble for a prank." Jason strode up, Mark not far behind him. "Well, if you think it's safe," said Mark, "let's pack it up and get it onto the ship. We'll do a sweep through the whole grounds to see if there's any more of these and then take it back to HQ for analysis." Princess nodded and started to wrap the costume in the blanket. As it shifted, she heard a faint click, and immediately grabbed the others to shove them off to the side. Her heart hammered as she waited for the inevitable explosion. Except that it never came. Instead, the equipment room filled with freaky giggles. "Oh my god." Princess tried to catch her breath. "Someone needs their butt kicked," grumbled Jason as he got to his feet. "Everyone okay?" Princess stood and looked them over. She could just have killed her whole family and doomed their missing little brother. The thought made her physically ill. "We're fine." Mark squeezed her shoulder. "No harm done." "Speak for yourself!" Tiny laughed, holding up a mangled basketball hoop. "Guess they don't have a spare anymore." Nervous laughter filled the room. Princess hoped that the nature of this trap meant that Keyop was okay. Either that, or he was being held by some really twisted people.

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you surely have Keyop and his brothers down pat! what a fun story!

I think Zoltar's in big trouble.

When I thought of this prompt, I had no idea where it could go. Thanks for the fun ride!

wow, 9 more agents? That's almost 2 new G-Force teams. And by the sounds of it they will certainly keep Spectra on their toes.

Really like the characterizations in this one! Even got Keyop's speech patterns down pretty well!

Originally posted by Redbird Really like the characterizations in this one! Even got Keyop's speech patterns down pretty well!

...Which has me thinking TJ did this one.

wow, I never would have thought of more experiments in the line that generated Keyop. Interesting concept for sure!

This is certainly a different take on Keyop's origins! I agree, it does seem strange that Keyop would be the only child manufactured, and that more would not have been created. It does lead me to wonder how they found Keyop, though? Clearly they had had him under surveillance for some time.

Oooo..interesting! I also wondered if more manufactured children would have been created! Great work!!

I suppose it's my turn to confess. I wrote this one, with Redbird as my lovely beta!

Gee, and here I thought I was supposed to have written this one! Great job, Chris! You took Keyop's canon background and explored many valid questions.

Wow, Chris, I`m impressed! Just when I thought I knew your writing style...

Great work, Chris! You got me on this one! I wasn't sure who wrote it!

Originally posted by Transmute Jun Gee, and here I thought I was supposed to have written this one!

Up until now, TJ, you were the only one who got Keyop`s vocal tics right. (Not easy, by any stretch of the imagination! All the more reason to be impressed by what Chris did.)

EW: I was so intrigued by the thought that there might be other engineered kids! Sorry yours was last but I was trying to prepare for a family invasion at the same time I was writing, hehe. I wondered if anyone would realize this was me, that was a particularly fun aspect!

Originally posted by Transmute Jun Gee, and here I thought I was supposed to have written this one! Great job, Chris! You took Keyop's canon background and explored many valid questions.

The concept goes to EW, she suggested that maybe there were other "Created" kids that were having an effect somehow on the Federation, and I just ran with it.

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Originally posted by ElectricWhite Up until now, TJ, you were the only one who got Keyop`s vocal tics right. (Not easy, by any stretch of the imagination! All the more reason to be impressed by what Chris did.)

I admit I usually avoid the tics by using ... where he'd have tics! Redbird rightly pointed out to me, though, that it made Keyop sound more like Jinpei, so I thought since this was a gift I'd do them. Plus, it felt more sneaky, hehe.

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It wasn't a conscious choice. I was just trying to think of random weird things that, in total, could be related or not, and either potentially positive or potentially really bad, since I hadn't decided exactly what the boys were up to at first!

Originally posted by ChrisW

Originally posted by ElectricWhite Up until now, TJ, you were the only one who got Keyop`s vocal tics right. (Not easy, by any stretch of the imagination! All the more reason to be impressed by what Chris did.)

I admit I usually avoid the tics by using ... where he'd have tics! Redbird rightly pointed out to me, though, that it made Keyop sound more like Jinpei, so I thought since this was a gift I'd do them. Plus, it felt more sneaky, hehe.

There are three options with Keyop. First, you can write in the weird noises. Second, you can use '...' or dashes or something else to represent where the burbling would be. Third, you can ignore it altogether and just have him speak in short phrases. I've used all three methods. It really depends on the story itself, how close I want it to be to canon, and (as in the case of this story) whether or not the verbal tics themselves become a plot point. Sometimes I'll purposely put them in, just so it's obvious to the reader who is speaking. For example: "Get out of my chair!" Jason snarled. "Breep... okay!" There's no need to add a 'Keyop cried' or some such after the quotation marks, because it's evident who is responding, even when the entire team is present. That can have its advantages as well, in terms of story flow. Yeah, I've thought about this way too much. Keyop isn't even one of my favorite characters! I guess I've just written him into my stories a lot.

Well, he is part of the team, and many stories do involve everyone.

The one mistake I`ve seen over and over is that, when the vocal tics were used, the author severely overused them. I think my fear of becoming one of those people is what keeps me from including the tics when I write.

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LOLOL, TJ, I almost missed the fact that Keyop DID answer the Chief's question among all his burbles....

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ROFL...OMG, TJ! I am laughing so hard at Keyop's implant mishap!

TJ: LOLOL EW: I don't know if this makes sense but I can hear him speaking in my head, so I just put the tics in the way they sound. Probably just brief memories from the show? Or I've got some personalities I don't know about! It also might help that I've known people with stutters.

Aw, so nice to see Keyop -the odd one out on the team, in so many ways- get a bunch of friends his own age, and find his "engineered" family too. I agree about Spectra being in trouble!

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LOL, that scene is from one of my earliest fics, where Keyop was instructed to cover for Mark, who took an unauthorized trip to Riga in the Phoenix with Tiny. I don't know how much attention I pay to what other people say, but one thing I do when I am proof-reading my fics is I read them aloud to myself. That works really well for showing where things don't flow, or where the words are all clumped up and mangled. If it's awkward to say, then it's awkward to read. And if Keyop has too many breeps and broops, well that comes out as well.

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CW, this was great! I really enjoyed the mystery side of it as well!

Thanks!

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I should note that I used to write HORRIBLE, unnatural-sounding dialog way back when (before I ever came here). I've worked on that skill a LOT, which means carefully listening to how people actually talk, so I'm not sure it's a natural thing I just did on my own to start with. This story prompt provided a fun challenge.