Just what the title of this thread says. ....But if you must need more, maybe you could say this was in honor of the Sochi Olympics, which will end this weekend! ========== Q: Why does the ice dancer always use coupons? A: Because he's a cheap skate.

Why was the hockey player arrested? He put his teammates on ice.

Tee hee.

Why can't you tell jokes while ice-skating? because the ice might crack up....

I don't know any ice-related jokes to share, but I've enjoyed the ones here.

That's fine. I'm just glad nobody's had to explain them!

Okay, here's another one: A drunk guy in Alaska decided to go ice fishing. He started sawing a hole in the ice, when a loud booming voice said, "You will find no fish there." The drunk looked up, ignored it, and continued on. The voice boomed again, "You will find no fish under the ice." The drunk looked up and asked, "God, is that you?" The voice answered, "No, I'm the manager of this ice rink."

This is getting better and better! Keep it coming!

*groans and staggers, dripping with icy shrapnel from a plethora of bad jokes .... cough snicker cough ...*

[unrecoverable text]

Oh, a double-whammy from CD!

Q: What do you call a snowman in the desert? A: A puddle!

*GROAN!*

hee hee hee

LOL all of them. I don't have any snow jokes either, but I did unfortunately hear a blonde joke I won't repeat since it doesn't have anything to do with ice or snow.

Originally posted by KT1972 Q: What do you call a snowman in the desert? A: A puddle!

That's snow funny! Snow, it's not.

oooooh.

Just when you thought it was safe..... There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!"

Bob and his wife live in Toledo, Ohio. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Bob's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..........." then the electric power goes out. Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through? With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to Blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Oh brother....

Oh, man. The blondes at least thought to go find out what the brunettes were doing. Leave the car in the garage...Brawhahahah!!!!

Q: How did the blonde die icefishing? A: She got run over by the zamboni! Looks like this thread is now moving toward blonde jokes! ...Mind you, I'm not complaining. In fact, I'd like to see how far this goes on -- if y'all are willing to keep contributing!

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice? A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

That one's an oldie! But there's gotta be something to it, 'cause it keeps coming back....

Originally posted by ElectricWhite In fact, I'd like to see how far this goes on -- if y'all are willing to keep contributing!

Yeah, blonde jokes aren't really my thing.I'm not offended per se, but it is a stereotype I've been fighting for much of my life.

Originally posted by Transmute Jun

Originally posted by ElectricWhite In fact, I'd like to see how far this goes on -- if y'all are willing to keep contributing!

Yeah, blonde jokes aren't really my thing.I'm not offended per se, but it is a stereotype I've been fighting for much of my life.

I can see what you're saying, since I've had to deal with what comes with being both blond and well-endowed (I'm not bragging, believe me!). I guess I should have explained a little more...I was wondering how this thread would evolve. It started with ice and snow, is going through a blonde phase now, and then what?

Evolve, it did. My husband swears I'm humor challenged. As I can't come up with an appropriate joke, he might be right.

No worries, Becky. I can be fairly funny in some circumstances, but I don't know all that many jokes and none have come to mind. Even professional comedians don't always rely on jokes! Many today use stories/anecdotes.

Here's one TJ might appreciate: Q: Why are blonde jokes short? A: So brunettes can remember them.

ok, in the interest of equality..... There was a competition to swim from Santa Monica to Catalina doing only the breaststroke. Three women signed up for the race -- a Blonde, a Redhead, and a Brunette. After approximately 14 hours, the Blonde staggered up onto the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker. About 40 minutes later, the Redhead crawled onto the beach in second place. Nearly 4 hours later, the Brunette finally stumbled ashore and collapsed in front of the worried crowd. Several journalists surrounded her and asked why it had taken so long for her to finish the race. "Well, I don't want to sound like a sore loser," she said. "But I'm pretty sure those two other girls were using their arms."

KT, maybe she needed this.

LOL Becky

Okay, here's one that I'm throwing in, even though it doesn't fit the trend. (If you don't like me doing that, deal with it!) Q: What do you get when you combine a poodle, a cocker spaniel, and a ghost? A: A cock-a-poodle boo!

LOL I like that one, considering I have a poodle/ cocker spaniel mix.

And the name was Boo as well EW?

Good one, Becky!

Q: Why did the lady stop going to the French restaurant? A: The waiters gave her the crepes.

I love crepes!