Ok, as the title says this was the first fic i ever wrote. The first paragraph was actually written while i was around 10 or 11, after watching "Poltergeist" at a too young age.lol. Little did i know i would find that scrap of paper when it was time to write my english HSC/finals assessment task and my writers block had left, i knew how i could extend it beyond the atmosphere i had created. Anyway, you never actually find out your score for the assessment but i do know that it was read out to a friends class and was highly commended, infact, not blowing my own trumpet but the teacher told them it received full marks. Ok, so i was only 17 at the time but i still like the story. Hope you equally enjoy it The Devils Night The night began like any other.A heavy cloud cover suggested rain tomorrow or perhaps that night.Thunder could be heard rolling in from the horizon like thundering waves.A black crow flew across the ashen skies heralding nightfall, or perhaps something more sinister. Zoe sat at her desk doing her homework.On her desk she had the books she was studying from; algebra,english literature and the ancient romans, these sat on one side of the desk with the other side covered with photographs of her boyfriend Wayne. Everyone said they made the perfect couple, their good looks complemented the others.He stood as the captain of the schools football team while she led the cheerleaders. The hours ticked by slowly.Zoe allowed herself a small break each hour in time to see the hour hand pass the 10, 11 and finally 12. Her parents would now be in bed and asleep so she would have to be quiet.She checked her work and found she was only half way done, it was going to be a long night. The rain became a storm and the storm a raging mass of clouds, rain and wind.Rain began beating beating against the windows, hammering into the ground and with the thunder and wind created a deafening chorus. The night would temporarily become day as a streak of lightening bolted from the sky to the distant hills. The wind blew through the trees making an eerie ghostly sound that almost made zoe wish she had gone to bed earlier. She'd hated storms since she was a child. At 10 past 12 the phone rang. She ran to get it before her parents woke up and scolded her for still being up.She picked the receiver up to hear no sound, no dial tone, no voice, nothing, and then a click as the person on the other end hung up and a loud beeping filled her ears as she replaced the handset. She saw no reason to worry because storms nearly always played havoc with the phones. As she returned to her room she could have sworn she heard a noise in the dark outside her window. Feeling insecure she proceeded to close her room up. This storm, she finally decided, was playing havoc with her imagination so she undressed to go to bed. She can't have been in bed long when the phone rang again so zoe hurriedly redressed and rushed to the phone. All she could hear was the monotonous beeping as the caller hung up as she had answered. All to suddenly the beeping stopped to be replaced with a new sound, silence. She tried hanging up and relifting the handset hoping to hear the security of a dial tone, only to be disappointed. Now Zoe decided she should tell her parents and seek their reassurance, she was so near panicking she could smell her fear on her exhaled breath. she opened her parents door to be greeted with a flapping curtain and empty bed, they weren't back yet. She contemplated running outside to the public telephone and calling a friend for support.As she looked out her parents window she noticed there was someone near the phone,they turned to face the house and perhaps saw her standing there watching before fleeing in a nearby car without turning the headlights on. She now faced the question of whether to stay in the house alone and scared or go outside and call someone for help. After thinking about the person, shrouded in a heavy coat, she elected to stay inside.She knew not who or what waited in the hidden shadows of the night. Zoe then frantically ran around the house. She knew she must to check and lock the windows. While in her brothers room she heard the unmistakable sound of glass smashing and the tinkle as it disintegrated on the ground. If she wasn't aware of her rapid heartbeat before she was now, for sure. As she walked down to the other end of the house she could hear the outside wind howling. The storm was nearing its climax. Zoe shuddered at each flash of lightning as the house lit up. Zoe, moving very slowly, entered the kitchen. It was here that the wind was loudest. Suddenly she grimaced in pain as her bare foot trod on a shard of glass. A flash of lightning lit up the glass covered floor as she watched her blood diffusinig into it. Slowly she looked up from her feet to see two yellow eyes staring intently at her. She fell back in shock and screamed, cutting herself again. She used her arm to drag herself away from the haunting pair of eyes. A sudden blast of lightning revealed it was her neighbours cat who owned the eyes. A second flash lit up the broken vase that had stood where the cat now was. The wind was coming through the widely opened window above the sink. Zoe stood up carefully, fumbling for the light switch. She tried to flick it on but nothing happened. She looked at the microwave and noticed its clock was still operating. She tried the switch again to no avail. She resigned herself to the fact that a fuse must have blown...or been removed, either way she would have to go outside to fix it. As she walked towards the door she saw a small flash of light outside as a candle was lit revealing a hooded figure.She shuddered as she remembered stories of the evil druids. Zoe felt she was living in a nightmare as the hooded figure moved towards the door. She felt powerless as she watched the front door handle turn and stood in silent terror as the hooded figure moved towards her with an arm outstretched. She finally passed out as the hood was removed to reveal the smiling face of her boyfriend Wayne, who in his other hand held the missing fuse.

its a brilliant story, interesting without being cliche

thank you tengu, its always good to get feedback....... c'mon guys, let me know what you thought......... does it read as well on your monitors as it does on mine? is the formatting correct? i'd like to know before i post some of my more "serious" stories.

Ya I like it too Love the ending though, it reminds me of those daft comedies!

Loved the story. Never been good at dissecting formatting etc. But definitely loved the ending.

A black crow flew across the ashen skies heralding nightfall, or perhaps something more sinister." What a perfect way to set the tone for the entire piece.. You set the scene, character introduction, the atmosphere, the build of of tension leading to the climax of your story...yep you have "the X factor." In other words you posses the talent to write some quite remarkable fics. Spread your wings, soar with imagination , creativity, and your knowledge of the Gatch characters, add 20 years maturity and experience since this piece was written , and you are guarranteed to rock the socks off many fanfic readers. Congrats. You have what it takes..Now get those Gatch fanfics started!

Thankyou guys for your encouragement...... I'm not going to make any promises about gatch fic any time soon, need to be in the right frame of mind........let alone working out what i want the characters to do.........i can think of a few ideas.........but i dare say at the moment it would be me writing myself in as a character and a good dose of wishful thinking, otherwise Princess might be acting VERY out of character.lol.......i know there is a bit of bent stuff out there and trying to come up with something that hasn't been done before wouldn't be that easy.......but i will try and consider it, ok.