I thought it might be time for a fun little challenge. Write a piece from any (one or more) major male character's POV being sent out on an emergency run to get "feminine hygiene products" for Jun or Princess. Can be set at any point within, before, or after the series. Since we're mostly chicks this shouldn't be too horribly scary ...

Hmmm.....wheels are turning....

Ha! I did one like this many years ago...only it wasn't from the character's POV! It was called "Mission Impossible"...here's a link: Mission Impossible

Very cute Springie! It's inevitable that whenever I go to the drugstore, I always wind up helping some guy in the feminine hygiene aisle who is very confused. They usually walk up to me with red face, a glazed look and shoving a piece of paper at me, asking me for help because they can't find what their wife/girlfriend wants. LOL. (One of the funniest to me was a guy looking for thong pantiliners--he couldn't find them, and had his GF on his cell phone. I handed him the box and pointed to the word "thong" written on it in large letters. LOL)

please keep in mind this is a younger Joe here---'cause I just can't imagine an older Joe having issues picking up this stuff It was fun to write, hope you enjoy. LOL. ****************************** Hands stuffed in his pockets, he skulked down the aisle of feminine hygiene products. His eyes grew blurry from all the brightly colored packaging: pink and purple, blue and green. Polka dots. Polka dots? Wings. Super-Jumbo. For fuck's sake, what were these goddamn things--planes? And planes were Ken's business--he should be the one doing this. Not him. C'mon Joe, man-up! that small voice inside him said. You can do this! Joe straightened his shoulders, and stared at the paper in his hand again. Jun's normally elegant cursive handwriting, was a mess of chicken scratch. He squinted at the pink scrap of paper again, holding it at arms length, trying to discern what she wanted. His brow furrowed, mouth working slightly. Wait! Was it? Yes! A word. Regular. Ok. That was a start. Regular was good. Like gasoline. Regular was normal. Gotta start somewhere he supposed. But regular what? Mini's, liners, scented. Man, even condoms weren't this difficult. Joe mentally rolled his eyes, and stared down at Jun's list again. That almost looked like.....an "m"? Missile? No...wait. It was a "t" definitely a "t". Torpedo? Tampon! That was it. Tampon. Ok, Jun wanted regular tampons. Reaching out he hastily grabbed the first pink box he saw, hoping in the back of his mind, that it was what she wanted. "Say, do you need some help?" came a voice from behind him, startling him. Joe looked over his shoulder and there to his surprise and delight, was a petite, pretty young woman. "Hey!" he answered, a smile curling the corner of his mouth as he looked her up and down. Her eyes were pretty, he thought to himself. "Need a hand?" she gestured towards the rows of boxes. Think quick! "Umm, not too sure..." he admitted, a bit sheepishly, and scratched his head for effect. "Let me see." the girl said, taking the paper from his hand. She nodded as she spotted the box in his hand. "Ok, you're good on those. But Midol is also on the list.." He must've had a dumbfounded look on his face, because she laughed and walked a few steps away from him (treating him to a rather shapely rear view) and snatched a small blue box off the shelf and handed it to him. "Here, take these. "she told him, flicking her long hair over her shoulders. "They should be fine." And so are you Joe thought, checking out her legs in that short skirt. "Thanks," he said. "Say...what's your name?" The woman frowned at him. "My name? Why?" "Well, I was going to ask you what you were doing this Saturday night." The smile that was on her lips, slid away. "Excuse me?" "Huh?" Joe questioned, really dumbfounded this time. She hefted her purse over her shoulder more securely, and pointed a finger at him. "You men are all the same. I try to help you and you think I want to date you! This is what I get for trying to be nice." "What are you talking about?" Joe exclaimed. "I only asked you on a date is all..." "Yeah and you already have a girlfriend!" she snapped, pointing at the box of tampons in his hand, and then started walking away. "You have some nerve." "She's not my girlfriend! She's my sister!" "Yeah, that's what they all say!" she shouted back as she walked towards the front of the store, apparently leaving. Well...he thought standing in the middle of the aisle alone, Jun really was his sister....in a way. Jesus Christ, he thought as made his way to a cashier. Women! He was never doing this again. Next time Ken could handle it.

LOL RB, seems Joe cannot catch a break, can he.....

Springie: Hehe, I'd forgotten that one, poor Ken. I wasn't sure if this challenge might have been sprung before but figured what the heck ... Redbird: LOL ... Joe's saved by an angel and then shot down back to earth ... Jun better appreciate his efforts!

Heh-heh. I couldn't resist!

I had too many ideas dancing around my head last night, gotta pick one!

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Aw, that was very sweet CW! I liked how you made Nambu "reason" with himself "I'm a scientist", "This is a natural function". Nice touch. Poor Jun! But pity the boys as they're gonna learn all about PMS!

Springie - I hadn't read that in a while. Hell, its confusing for me sometimes. RB- Poor old Joe will survive. Every guy should have to experience it.

CW - its good for older men to remember it exists, too. The misery should be shared.

I firmly believe that het men should suck it up and deal. You want a woman in your life, guess what, you got one! I always enjoy pondering the unique POV of a particular character. I can totally see Nambu thinking he should be above this sort of petty fear. Yeah Jun's reached an age that's going to leave the boys perpetually confused for a while, I think.

These are great! So much so, I'm not sure I have much to add...

Well, if you don't want to duplicate characters, there's always Ryu/Tiny and Jinpei/Keyop. (Though really, there's nothing wrong with duplicating, there's never too much of the Eagle and Condor. )

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LOL. I can totally see that happening KT! "A cross between a nappy and a bandage"--that's a pretty good description! Good thinking on Jinpei's part to find an older woman to ask for help--it's usually a good, safe bet they can help. Thankfully for them, she also had a daughter around Jun's age!

I like that, KT! Jun, being 14, wouldn't realize that it might be embarrassing for the guys to pick that stuff up! Okay, something came to me last night. And ti was so freaking obvious, I'm smacking myself upside the head for not thinking of it before. 88888 He hated these things. Pink and purple packages with flowers and nauseating, perfume smells. He understood why they were necessary, yet the entire thing disgusted him. He slapped the box down in front of the cashier, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. He was only a woman for a few days each month. Why the hell had Sosai chosen next week to force his transformation?

TJ, that never occurred to me! Love it!

Springie - Totally fits! And of course, he would come back with the wrong package ... Redbird - Only Joe would try to pick up a girl in *that* part of the store! Lol. Chris - I like the internal dialogue here. KT - Totally believable --- And now, for mine. Y'all need to forgive me for this one! I was challenged, see, and I had to do it, and ... well ... it's all Chris' fault. --- He was not going to fail on this mission. He was the protector of the galaxy and his team was dependent upon him. Special assignments like this were exceedingly rare - he seldom got to leave Center Neptune. The boys must be in some serious trouble to require his assistance. Strange that they had scattered the minute they had entered the grocery store. It must be very dangerous business indeed. 7-Zark-7 threw back his shoulders - or what passed for shoulders in the little robot - and marched to the store directory. He glanced at his instructions again, although it really wasn't necessary. He had committed Mark's strange, urgent request to memory. "Find pads with wings. Hurry! Princess needs them now!" Strange to think of launching pads at a grocery store, but surely wings referred to planes. What was that e-e-evil, dastardly Zoltar up to this time? Micro-armies in grocery stores? Of course Princess would need a sample of Spectran handiwork to unlock its secrets. Zark rotated his head sadly. What would that fiendish mind think up next? He flapped his cape and flew down the appropriately marked aisle, ignoring the astonished looks from his fellow shoppers. When he saw what he actually faced with, Zark realized his error. "Oh, dear," he said aloud. "This is terrible! Princess must have a serious wound to require this level of absorption."

Julie, your evil! But to give Zark the mission is perfect!

TJ - You must have been posting while I was writing! Yep, that would be awkward. Poor Katse! Seems like if he timed his changes, he could avoid that whole part of the female experience ...

Becky - He deserves it, doesn't he?

Originally posted by Redbird "A cross between a nappy and a bandage"--that's a pretty good description!

RB - My youngest asked the same question at around that age, he was perfectly satisfied with that as an explanation... Chris - It makes me wonder how Nambu got to that age without having to buy any before, but then, if he never married, and didn't have any sisters, then it's possible... TJ - LOL, maybe Katse displeased Sosai in some way? jublke - at least Zark is good for something....

Ladies, what can I say? All stories are excellent! Not much to add, except a little explanation of why Princess had not made sure she had supplies on hand... //"Why me?" moaned Jason as he put his shoes on. "Why me again? And why can't she be prepared for once?" Mark looked at him sympathetically, but not that much. "'Be prepared' is for scouts -- not for Princess, it seems." "She is out there saving the galaxy every day! She can't calculate when her next period...cycle...whatever...is going to be?" Anderson poked his head in the room and heard them. "Come here, boys. There's something I need to tell you about Princess." "She thought she was pregnant and she would not need any stuff this month," said Jason promptly. Anderson turned his head slowly. "What?" he stuttered. Jason had the grace to redden. "Sorry, sorry, just a joke. It's just that..I mean, how hard is it to keep track of this thing? It's supposed to be, well, regular, no? Once a month? Or something?" Anderson sighed. "The reason for these sudden expeditions you are sent on is that, due to the effect of the cerebonics, Princess's cycle often goes haywire. It's going to be very difficult to watch out for pregnancies -- and for now, it's difficult to know when she will next get her period. So, off you go to the store, Jason. See it as training. One day you might have to do it for your girlfriend, no?" He winked at the boys. "That will be the day," sighed Jason, putting his jacket on.//

LOL, DT, so Anderson sends the boys out on rota every time? Mark must have gone last month since he seems pretty relaxed about it all

KT -- Practice makes perfect, no? They have to learn, as the chief says, it may come useful later in life

DT: Poor Princess! I have a cycle that's gone haywire too and trust me, it's no fun. Hmmm ... Maybe I also have a cerebonic implant?!

Originally posted by ElectricWhite TJ, that never occurred to me! Love it!

Me either! LOL. That was perfect TJ!

Originally posted by jublke Redbird - Only Joe would try to pick up a girl in *that* part of the store! Lol.

Heh-heh. Gotta give the kid brownie points for tryin' ya know?

Originally posted by jublke DT: Poor Princess! I have a cycle that's gone haywire too and trust me, it's no fun. Hmmm ... Maybe I also have a cerebonic implant?!

Gee, it's kinda comforting to know I'm not the only one with an angry uterus!

Originally posted by Daniella T KT -- Practice makes perfect, no? They have to learn, as the chief says, it may come useful later in life

Definitely! And poor Jason better remember not to make any more "pregnant" remarks!

Very fiendish, Jublke! And I loved Mark's urgency here "Hurry! Find ones with wings!" LOL. Though very fitting...didn't someone here either on the board, or in a story call Zark a metal tampon?

Originally posted by jublke Becky - He deserves it, doesn't he?

Totally!

Wait until premenopause hits. It might do Princess good to always have supplies, before the guys rebel and tell her to go get it herself.

Julie, Zark going is pefrect! Finally,. something useful for him to do! Hmmm... just wondering if Susan has monthly 'oil leaks'? Daniella, I'm with Jason on this one, Even if Princess can't 'calculate', then she should have stock on hand! I mean, the things don't expire. Buy into the next century, if you have to! I present Sheldon's thesis on the subject... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9iDlMniZ_lw

bah, the link won't work here, but I think I know the ep you're talking about... where Sheldon suggests to Penny that she buys 30 years worth of tampons in one bulk purchase to save money?

TJ and KT -- that ep from TBBT had popped into my mind also!

KT: Haha, poor Ryu ... I like how Jinpei's so matter of fact about the whole thing (except for nappies, eew!) Of course, now Ryu might go home and tell Jun that she gets to explain the purchase. TJ: LOLOL, poor Katse, talk about not being able to catch a break ... Susan and monthly oil leaks???????? gah! jublke: LOLOL *snork* *falls over* Daniella T: Nicely done. Of course, for Princess it could also be some kind of hazing ritual to torment the boys. Hehe. The hazing ritual idea is sounding pretty good, really. Imagine all the boy-type torment she's gotten over the years (frogs, bugs, etc.)

Originally posted by KT1972 bah, the link won't work here, but I think I know the ep you're talking about... where Sheldon suggests to Penny that she buys 30 years worth of tampons in one bulk purchase to save money?

That's odd, it's just a Youtube vid! But yes, tha's the scene.

Originally posted by Redbird Though very fitting...didn't someone here either on the board, or in a story call Zark a metal tampon?

It was me ... in one of the "Lockout" stories!

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Late to the party, but I was wondering if any of you have seen WonderMan? From Libra invisible pads adds (zark made me think of him) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgMl-iZ3tZM

hee hee hee, LW, better late than never, and that vid was well worth waiting for too. I can see why Zark brought him to mind, the guy behaved just like the tin can in his ready room

Originally posted by ElectricWhite

Originally posted by Redbird Though very fitting...didn't someone here either on the board, or in a story call Zark a metal tampon?

It was me ... in one of the "Lockout" stories!

Ah yes, that was it! Thanks for the reminder! Good to see you back here, EW. Hope you're feeling better!

LW: LOLOL

*snerk* I loved reading what you guys came up with! They're all so perfect! CW -- I loved Kozaburo's reaction and he would definitely approach the situation like the man of science that he is! TJ -- You would think Berg Katse would time it just get around "that" time! If you're going to be able to switch back and forth, you may as well get some benefit out of it! And I know I'm a little late here, but I didn't see anyone post the way I thought Mark would react, so I thought I would share my little offering with you, if I may. ******* The doors stood unguarded and he quickly slipped in, certain that he remained unobserved. Tension crackled along his nerves as he scanned the open space, broken into aisles by the rows of long shelves that ran the length of the building. He would not fail, he resolved to himself firmly as he quickly took cover. He ducked into the nearest aisle, holding his breath and pressing his back against the metal shelving as two men walked by. It was only when they passed by, and he was sure that they had not seen him, that Mark allowed himself to breathe once more. Turning slowly, he moved like a shadow down the aisle, his eyes always scanning the shelves as he looked for his objective. After searching several aisles, Mark was elated to have finally found what he sought. Quickly, he went down the list. White lettering? Check. Purple box? Check. Ultra-thin? Check. Maxi? Check. Contoured? Check. Unscented? Check. Target sighted and locked, he thought with a smirk as he snatched the box off of the shelf. Tucking it under his arm like a football, Mark practically ran to the cashier and tossed the money he had ready onto the counter triumphantly. With the box safely secured in a bag, and the bag tightly gripped within his fist, Mark strode out of the store with his back straight and his head held high with pride as he walked towards the Snack J, where Princess waited for him. Mission accomplished.

LOL RIgirl, love the checklist and the image of Mark strutting down the street with his purchase.

That checklist is *totally* Mark! LOL.

The scary part is it is that complicated at times. You hit the 'mark', RIGirl!

You forgot the cashier running after him to give him his change....

Originally posted by Transmute Jun You forgot the cashier running after him to give him his change....

Heh-heh. Good one TJ! I can see it now.....

Mark - What the hell is Summer's Eve? Jason - How am I supposed to know? Mark - You date a lot of women. Jason - Not at that time, I don't!

LOL Becky. The way they like to try to kill him, you'd think Jason exclusively dates them at THAT time.

Good point, CW!

Oh, CW! Thank you so much for having opened this thread! Sorry to join in this late but to all ... you've all cracked me up with deliciously hilarious stories of different approaches by different characters! I so needed the laughs!