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Last post by SJ_SwanJun 9 Apr 2009 16:09
OK, below is the opening of the Gatch fic that I'm working on. It probably won't be completely canon, mostly because I'm still relearning it 
, but I'm already feeling attached to the characters in my notes. I'll be posting WIP, but don't expect reams in short periods, I'm busy but do want to work on this. Thanks to Veritas for giving it the once over first
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The early evening sky was dark with cloud, torrential rain reducing visibility in the city streets, each lamplight a small oasis of movement, each raindrop shimmering as people ran to get to their destinations without getting too wet. On the corner of one of the streets, the lamplight blended with the not so subtle neon sign hanging over the door of the Tobiko Sports Diner. The buzz of the open sign fought with the hiss of the rain crashing down around it, slamming against the windows. The open light flickered for a moment then went dark.
A figure moved out from the shadows of the dark street and stood for a moment in the haze of the lamplight, looking at the door. It was bundled up in a heavy cloak, a hooded cowl over its head, effectively hiding its face. The light from the lamp only deepened the shadows. It seemed to watch for several minutes, oblivious to the rain that battered it. For a moment a streak of lightning lit the sky, outlining the entire street in stark, blue-white light, illuminating a sharp jaw line and full lips, before darkness absorbed the cowl again. Glancing up at the sky, the figure shook itself for a moment and then moved out of the light into the shadows beyond the corner.
Inside the diner, Ryu Nakanishi was carefully wiping down the counter, removing the last few empty cups of coffee that had been left behind when his customers left. He glanced up at the large flat screens that were dotted about the diner, different sports playing out on each of them. On the largest screen, the one providing sound to the room, were highlights from the latest world racing championship. Ryu watched it for a moment, his eyes narrowing as the podium ceremony for the top three came on.
"Screens off."
The multiple displays around the diner flickered off, the sports commentary filling the air fading to silence. Ryu moved the last few cups over to the dishwasher, dropping them in and closing it up. As it kicked in, he reached down behind the diner counter, grabbing the two large bags of garbage that he had already closed up.
"Automatic TV, dishwashers, self-driving vehicles," he shook his head, "even world peace. So many things we've achieved in the last fifteen years, and I still have to take the garbage out by hand." Muttering to himself he walked towards the door at the back of the kitchen. Leaning his back against the door he pushed it open, dragging the two bags with him.
"Great," Ryu said, looking up at the torrential downpour that was flooding out the small alleyway at the back of his diner. He lifted the large dumpster lid, throwing each bag in before letting it crash down. Water sprayed up from the lip of the dumpster as the lid struck, making no difference to the clothes that were already wet. It was the kind of rain that Ryu had taken to calling lazy, the kind of rain that didn't bother to go around you, just soak you right through.
Lightning continued to stutter across the sky, momentarily lighting the alleyway, outlining each object in stark relief, destroying details and leaving shadows so deep that it was impossible to see anything in them. Ryu spotted something from the corner of his eye and turned to look more closely at the entrance to the alleyway. The lightning flashed again, accompanied by a loud crack of thunder. Outlined for a moment in that flash was a heavily cloaked figure, a figure that had left Ryu feeling uneasy, reaching for a watch that no longer sat on his wrist. Before he could investigate, another flash of lightning showed the end of the alley clear.
"Fool," Ryu said to himself, shaking his head, "he's been dead for years."
Ducking back inside the door to the kitchen, Ryu walked back through into the main diner. Shaking for a moment like a large dog, he let the loose water droplets flick away from him.
"Right, let's get the floor mopped and go home," Ryu said, reaching over to the mop sat in the corner. He dragged the bucket out, using the mop to guide it towards the far end of the counter, lifting out the floppy head and slapping it in a wet mass onto the floor. His strokes were sure and swift like a man who had done this for years. He was about halfway down the counter when he heard the small jingle of the front door bell as it opened.
"We're closed," he called, wondering why he hadn't locked the door, "but feel free to come back tomorrow."
"I think you will want to talk to me now, Horned Owl," the figure standing in the doorway said.
Ryu froze, the mop partially raised to the bucket, dripping water. He felt a shiver run through him as he heard that voice again. Memories flashed through his mind, moments of danger and anger that he marked so much of his youth.
"You're dead," he whispered, the knuckles of his hands going white as he gripped the handle of the mop. His grip moved as he began to unscrew it from the head at a slow deliberate pace.
"Once, perhaps," the figure said, moving away from the door. "Sit, Owl."
Ryu moved, the mop handle coming free as he threw his bulk across the counter towards the doorway that had been behind him. The heavily-cloaked figure stood without moving as he approached with the mops handle swinging before him. Almost without Ryu seeing it the figure moved, side-stepping the blow and locking a thin, long-fingered hand onto the handle. Ryu stopped dead, unable to move the handle even a fraction of an inch in the figures incredible grip.
"We do not need to do this, Ryu Nakanishi," the figure whispered, "but if we must."
The figure twisted its hand mere inches and Ryu flew across the room, slamming into a table before rolling off into several chairs. He felt the broken chair tear into his left arm, ripping open his shirt. He shook his head, trying to clear it as he struggled back to his feet. Ryu turned around, wishing again that his watch was still on his wrist. The figure by the door had moved across to sit at one of the tables. The figure was still shrouded in a cloak, the huge cowl raised to hide its face. The mop handle lay on the floor in two pieces.
"Come, join me, Ryu Nakanishi," it said, its hand re-appearing out of the cloak's shroud to gesture towards the chair opposite. "I am not here to hurt you."
"I'm not sure I believe that," Ryu said, moving over to sit down, keeping the whole depth of the table between himself and the figure.
"You haven't changed much, Horned Owl," the figure said, its voice still a whisper, "a little older, perhaps, a little... slimmer," Ryu heard the slight chuckle in the voice, "but much the same as before."
"What do you want?" Ryu asked, placing his hands on the table in front of him, ready to move if he needed to. He wasn't sure he would be able to do anything to this man, but he would go down swinging if he had to.
"I need your help, you and the rest of your... team," the figure said, the cowl weaving to the side a little.
"What team," Ryu muttered, shaking his head, "we haven't been a team for more than ten years."
"Has it really been that long?" the figure said, the cowl cocking slightly. The figure's hands slipped out of the shrouded cloak, locking long, delicate fingers together. "It seems only moments to me since the last time we saw each other."
"Do you honestly believe that I, that any of us, would help you?" Ryu asked, his anger so different to his normal, jovial demeanour.
"I was a fool before," the figure said, "blind to so much in my life." There was a deep sigh from the depths of the cowl. "There is something coming, something so much worse than anything you have faced before. All your trials, all the pain that you and the rest of your team have faced over the years are as nothing to what is to come."
"So, nothing but threats, as always," Ryu said, pushing his chair back. It fell over backwards as he leaned forward over the table to stare into the dark cowl. "Leave, creature!"
"Sit down!" The voice was quiet, but the note of command in it was un-missable. Ryu reared back, shaken by the change in the voice. It came from another man, someone else who should be dead. Ryu reached behind him and lifted the chair back in to place. "You have no idea the sacrifices, I... no, we, have made to be here now Ryu."
"You were dead, " Ryu whispered, "Both of you were dead."
The cowled figure reached a hand out and laid it gently on Ryu's as the big man sat down, shocked at what he was hearing.
"We were both in a dark place for so long, but we were given another chance, together, to save those we love," the figure said, "but it came at a cost. It has taken so many years to reach this point, this place where we can finally make contact."
"But why me?" Ryu said, his voice trembling a little, "Why not Ken, or Joe?"
The cowled figure chuckled for a moment, a sound that seemed to flicker between that weird laugh Ryu remembered with such horror and the deep rumble that he remembered so fondly.
"You were always the humblest, the most stable of the brothers," the figure said, "and the most likely to listen to what we had to say. Ken would be blinded by who I used to be and Joe is too headstrong, even now."
"What is happening?" Ryu asked, "Why are you here?"
The figure paused, a hiss of breath being drawn in. Ryu felt almost as if it was struggling to say what it wanted.
"We have discovered that it is not gone, that neither X or Zed were the true threat. Each was simply a part of something much more, much darker, and it is coming. It has waited long enough to hear from
, but I'm already feeling attached to the characters in my notes. I'll be posting WIP, but don't expect reams in short periods, I'm busy but do want to work on this. Thanks to Veritas for giving it the once over first
--------
The early evening sky was dark with cloud, torrential rain reducing visibility in the city streets, each lamplight a small oasis of movement, each raindrop shimmering as people ran to get to their destinations without getting too wet. On the corner of one of the streets, the lamplight blended with the not so subtle neon sign hanging over the door of the Tobiko Sports Diner. The buzz of the open sign fought with the hiss of the rain crashing down around it, slamming against the windows. The open light flickered for a moment then went dark.
A figure moved out from the shadows of the dark street and stood for a moment in the haze of the lamplight, looking at the door. It was bundled up in a heavy cloak, a hooded cowl over its head, effectively hiding its face. The light from the lamp only deepened the shadows. It seemed to watch for several minutes, oblivious to the rain that battered it. For a moment a streak of lightning lit the sky, outlining the entire street in stark, blue-white light, illuminating a sharp jaw line and full lips, before darkness absorbed the cowl again. Glancing up at the sky, the figure shook itself for a moment and then moved out of the light into the shadows beyond the corner.
Inside the diner, Ryu Nakanishi was carefully wiping down the counter, removing the last few empty cups of coffee that had been left behind when his customers left. He glanced up at the large flat screens that were dotted about the diner, different sports playing out on each of them. On the largest screen, the one providing sound to the room, were highlights from the latest world racing championship. Ryu watched it for a moment, his eyes narrowing as the podium ceremony for the top three came on.
"Screens off."
The multiple displays around the diner flickered off, the sports commentary filling the air fading to silence. Ryu moved the last few cups over to the dishwasher, dropping them in and closing it up. As it kicked in, he reached down behind the diner counter, grabbing the two large bags of garbage that he had already closed up.
"Automatic TV, dishwashers, self-driving vehicles," he shook his head, "even world peace. So many things we've achieved in the last fifteen years, and I still have to take the garbage out by hand." Muttering to himself he walked towards the door at the back of the kitchen. Leaning his back against the door he pushed it open, dragging the two bags with him.
"Great," Ryu said, looking up at the torrential downpour that was flooding out the small alleyway at the back of his diner. He lifted the large dumpster lid, throwing each bag in before letting it crash down. Water sprayed up from the lip of the dumpster as the lid struck, making no difference to the clothes that were already wet. It was the kind of rain that Ryu had taken to calling lazy, the kind of rain that didn't bother to go around you, just soak you right through.
Lightning continued to stutter across the sky, momentarily lighting the alleyway, outlining each object in stark relief, destroying details and leaving shadows so deep that it was impossible to see anything in them. Ryu spotted something from the corner of his eye and turned to look more closely at the entrance to the alleyway. The lightning flashed again, accompanied by a loud crack of thunder. Outlined for a moment in that flash was a heavily cloaked figure, a figure that had left Ryu feeling uneasy, reaching for a watch that no longer sat on his wrist. Before he could investigate, another flash of lightning showed the end of the alley clear.
"Fool," Ryu said to himself, shaking his head, "he's been dead for years."
Ducking back inside the door to the kitchen, Ryu walked back through into the main diner. Shaking for a moment like a large dog, he let the loose water droplets flick away from him.
"Right, let's get the floor mopped and go home," Ryu said, reaching over to the mop sat in the corner. He dragged the bucket out, using the mop to guide it towards the far end of the counter, lifting out the floppy head and slapping it in a wet mass onto the floor. His strokes were sure and swift like a man who had done this for years. He was about halfway down the counter when he heard the small jingle of the front door bell as it opened.
"We're closed," he called, wondering why he hadn't locked the door, "but feel free to come back tomorrow."
"I think you will want to talk to me now, Horned Owl," the figure standing in the doorway said.
Ryu froze, the mop partially raised to the bucket, dripping water. He felt a shiver run through him as he heard that voice again. Memories flashed through his mind, moments of danger and anger that he marked so much of his youth.
"You're dead," he whispered, the knuckles of his hands going white as he gripped the handle of the mop. His grip moved as he began to unscrew it from the head at a slow deliberate pace.
"Once, perhaps," the figure said, moving away from the door. "Sit, Owl."
Ryu moved, the mop handle coming free as he threw his bulk across the counter towards the doorway that had been behind him. The heavily-cloaked figure stood without moving as he approached with the mops handle swinging before him. Almost without Ryu seeing it the figure moved, side-stepping the blow and locking a thin, long-fingered hand onto the handle. Ryu stopped dead, unable to move the handle even a fraction of an inch in the figures incredible grip.
"We do not need to do this, Ryu Nakanishi," the figure whispered, "but if we must."
The figure twisted its hand mere inches and Ryu flew across the room, slamming into a table before rolling off into several chairs. He felt the broken chair tear into his left arm, ripping open his shirt. He shook his head, trying to clear it as he struggled back to his feet. Ryu turned around, wishing again that his watch was still on his wrist. The figure by the door had moved across to sit at one of the tables. The figure was still shrouded in a cloak, the huge cowl raised to hide its face. The mop handle lay on the floor in two pieces.
"Come, join me, Ryu Nakanishi," it said, its hand re-appearing out of the cloak's shroud to gesture towards the chair opposite. "I am not here to hurt you."
"I'm not sure I believe that," Ryu said, moving over to sit down, keeping the whole depth of the table between himself and the figure.
"You haven't changed much, Horned Owl," the figure said, its voice still a whisper, "a little older, perhaps, a little... slimmer," Ryu heard the slight chuckle in the voice, "but much the same as before."
"What do you want?" Ryu asked, placing his hands on the table in front of him, ready to move if he needed to. He wasn't sure he would be able to do anything to this man, but he would go down swinging if he had to.
"I need your help, you and the rest of your... team," the figure said, the cowl weaving to the side a little.
"What team," Ryu muttered, shaking his head, "we haven't been a team for more than ten years."
"Has it really been that long?" the figure said, the cowl cocking slightly. The figure's hands slipped out of the shrouded cloak, locking long, delicate fingers together. "It seems only moments to me since the last time we saw each other."
"Do you honestly believe that I, that any of us, would help you?" Ryu asked, his anger so different to his normal, jovial demeanour.
"I was a fool before," the figure said, "blind to so much in my life." There was a deep sigh from the depths of the cowl. "There is something coming, something so much worse than anything you have faced before. All your trials, all the pain that you and the rest of your team have faced over the years are as nothing to what is to come."
"So, nothing but threats, as always," Ryu said, pushing his chair back. It fell over backwards as he leaned forward over the table to stare into the dark cowl. "Leave, creature!"
"Sit down!" The voice was quiet, but the note of command in it was un-missable. Ryu reared back, shaken by the change in the voice. It came from another man, someone else who should be dead. Ryu reached behind him and lifted the chair back in to place. "You have no idea the sacrifices, I... no, we, have made to be here now Ryu."
"You were dead, " Ryu whispered, "Both of you were dead."
The cowled figure reached a hand out and laid it gently on Ryu's as the big man sat down, shocked at what he was hearing.
"We were both in a dark place for so long, but we were given another chance, together, to save those we love," the figure said, "but it came at a cost. It has taken so many years to reach this point, this place where we can finally make contact."
"But why me?" Ryu said, his voice trembling a little, "Why not Ken, or Joe?"
The cowled figure chuckled for a moment, a sound that seemed to flicker between that weird laugh Ryu remembered with such horror and the deep rumble that he remembered so fondly.
"You were always the humblest, the most stable of the brothers," the figure said, "and the most likely to listen to what we had to say. Ken would be blinded by who I used to be and Joe is too headstrong, even now."
"What is happening?" Ryu asked, "Why are you here?"
The figure paused, a hiss of breath being drawn in. Ryu felt almost as if it was struggling to say what it wanted.
"We have discovered that it is not gone, that neither X or Zed were the true threat. Each was simply a part of something much more, much darker, and it is coming. It has waited long enough to hear from
SJ_SwanJun
Forum Goddess
posted 8 Apr 2009 12:28
Oh how DARE you end it there!!
Awesome ... awesome ... awesome ....
I don't care if this is or isn't canon - I LOVE IT!!
My good god almighty -- where have you been hiding? What stunning writing! I am not a Gatch girl, and there are few writers who can tempt me with such, but ... wow. I am going to grab the sticks, whips, and guns of all on board and aim them at you until you continue this!
Oh how I wish I could write like that ...
More, please...
SJ
Transmute Jun
Queen of the Bird Missiles
posted 8 Apr 2009 17:30
This is terrific! I found myself drawn into the story and the mystery right away. I was guessing at the identity of the figure in the black cowl, and was right, and then right again, and then totally wrong... what a zinger!
I'm now curious to see what's going on with everyone else.
I'm curious though... a Chimera has three heads, and one of those is a snake... 
This is excellent! You really create mood and suspense well, and now I am eager to read more! There aren't many fics at all that are set after all the series, so I'm that much more intrigued with where you will take this...
Originally posted by Transmute Jun I'm curious though... a Chimera has three heads, and one of those is a snake...Actually, we homo sapien sapiens can be Chimeras. There are very well documented cases throughout history (modern even) of the "two twins in one person". It isn't really considered mythical these days as it is truly a real phenomenum phenomo phen... ahh crap I can't spell it... You know what I mean, right? One famous case was a child born to racially mixed parents. One side of the child was black and his other side was white. It was like two kids were cut in half and stuck together. Modern day medicine names any animal (it is more common in zoology) with two or more different sets of DNA a "Chimera"... The markings that were thought typical of a Chimeric person are no longer present (CSI did a thing on it in "bloodlines" creepy) Can you tell I watch Discovery channel a lot? They did a big two hour thing on it last year ... totally fascinating to think that a creepy creature from mythology truly exists! SJ
clouddancer
Gatchamaniac
posted 8 Apr 2009 17:50
Actually some people say a chimera is a "joining" of two beings. Usually a human with an animal but I guess a chimera could also be a joining of two people as well - so Katse could actually have been considered a Chimera.
I think in CSI they deal with a Chimera criminal in one eps. this person has both male and female DNA.
Jairen this story is great. You have a great way with words and drew me in. Now I can really tell you are an Owl fan since you started the eps. with the Owl character. It looks like he will be the "element" to pull the team back together. I am looking forward to reading more.
clouddancer
Gatchamaniac
posted 8 Apr 2009 17:52
Oooops, I see SJ posted as I was writing.
I had not realized that there were actual cases though, I was thinking fiction based and sorcery - with my comments about human animal joinings.
Good isnt it. Only prob with WIP is having to wait for the updates 
Okay this is ten years on so you have me wondering whats happened to the rest of them, I know Jinpei is at Uni, but what about Ken, Joe and Jun.
The element of mystery is a great hook, I love how you introduced Hakase...back from the dead...mmm....how he did it will be interesting and it will need something from Fighter not the first series. (The medallion he gave Ken...some kinda connection?)
You also have me wondering about the mysterious power they really used for the team to transform. It does have touches of Star Wars to the feel of it, but I figure thats because you wrote stories in that fandom for a while. Yet it brings a a unique touch to the start of it...
I'm interested in seeing how the plot develops!
I like your writing it flows very well to read.
clouddancer
Gatchamaniac
posted 9 Apr 2009 08:13
Tengu your fic HAS been read and commented on.
I do have to say /I/ have not had a chance yet to get to yours, but I have not had time to read 3 long stories like yours are. I hope over this Easter weekend if I can get the dial up service to work.
Transmute Jun
Queen of the Bird Missiles
posted 9 Apr 2009 13:56
Originally posted by Tengu I see no ones read my fic....Um, I did and I commented in your other thread (Successful writer). And LB posted directly in the 'Seeker' thread.
Ebonyswanne
Gatchamaniac
posted 9 Apr 2009 15:27
Tengue I've read your ficcies before, I try and read everyones at one point in time or another...
We also like to read to newbies stories! Its great to see what imagination people have when it comes to stories.
SJ_SwanJun
Forum Goddess
posted 9 Apr 2009 16:09
I apologise, Tengu. I haven't read your fic yet. When I am writing I don't go into anything with any great length until I'm done... Especially not BotP as it tends to warp my writing.
I read this one because it was Gatchaman and a teaser and from a writer I've not read yet. Oh and turns out I LOVED it.
When I finish Rebellion, I will totally take a break and get to your stories ... I promise you.
I estimate Rebellion will be done within a week or so ... Depends on my workload.
SJ
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