Someone has emailed it to me some time ago: These are GENUINE clips from London Borough Council complaint letters Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and its now getting too much for me. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.

These are funny, Meg!

I needed a good laugh today! Thanks for posting that, Meg.

Ah, sweet smut... the provider of laughs!

LOL Those were great Meg.

ROTFL!!! I could even hear the English accent as I read them. Thanks Meg.

These are great!

Those are hilarious, thanks Meg!

My pleasure!

Sounds like the complaint letters that Zoltar gets from Mech Captains Of The Week and goons.

Originally posted by Metaliant Sounds like the complaint letters that Zoltar gets from Mech Captains Of The Week and goons.

You're right... I could see them saying all of that

Zoltar may get letters from the Mech Captains Of The Week like "Why do we have to wear these silly costumes." and the goons may complain about the Health & Safety regulations.