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AllentownDarkWater AllentownDarkWater is a Male
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Since certain people here no longer love me and no longer think I'm the nice cool guy they used to think I was (not giving out any names, they know who they are), I'm so fed up that I just want to abandon this place which I thought I fit into perfectly, but is having second thoughts now as of late. And I feel compelled to leave. If anyone here still gives a damn about me, try and get me to stay. *storms out and locks himself in his room*

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Allen, I don't know if I'm one of the people you are talking, but if I am I'll apologize right now.

I have distanced myself from you because of post like these. But not because of you, because of me. I had to do it for personal reason. I have a son with emotional/social disabilities and some of these posts where your rant about difficulties relating to others hit just too close to home.

Unfortunately, from my perspective that seems to be the majority of your posts. You seldom join into some of the more fun aspects of this site anymore. Everyone needs to let off steam, but if that is all you do, it brings everyone else down with you and people tend to start distancing themselves.

My suggestion, it is great to write out emotions, but not everything needs to made public. Keep a personal journal. Join in fun activities. Rant only when you are about to implode or explode. If every little thing is bringing about the end of the world, seek professional help.

Finally, don't let others push you out of things you like.

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AllentownDarkWater AllentownDarkWater is a Male
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amethyst, you aren't one of them, so don't worry. But someone here (not saying who) has been giving me shit for an hour last night over a few things that they see as slip ups last night (and the evening was going along great too until they did!!), and I'm just fed up with certain people being blunt with me whenever I make certain mistakes and I can't take it anymore. If they don't like something I do, they could be nicer about it instead of rubbing my faults in my face and being an ass. What am I supposed to do when I'm frustrated?! Hold it in?! In addition to what I had to deal with last night, there's a ton of other shit going on in my personal life too, not just cyberspace.

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I'm sorry to hear that so many things have been giving you a hard time lately. I wish I could do something to help, but I'm afraid I'm powerless in these kind of issues. All I can say for certain is that, with one exception, all of your posts I've read since I joined this site have been because you've been distressed by something. Don't hear me saying you're wrong -- I'm just worried because it seems to me that the stress is going to give you a stroke any time now.

I don't think anybody wants you to hold it in when you're frustrated. Venting once in a while does help, but it's only a short-term fix. Eventually this won't help you any more. That's why others have asked if you've explored other avenues for dealing with your situation. It's frightening to thing that you might drown in the garbage that's been bothering you, that the world might lose the creative soul who joined this site in the first place.

I hope this makes sense to you.

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AllentownDarkWater AllentownDarkWater is a Male
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I'm not letting anything bring me down, but if I'm pissed about something I have the right to vent, and if people have a problem with me doing it, then this section of the forum really serves no purpose, because I post here when I'm frustrated thinking there are people here who care about me and want to help me feel better, but I guess it's pointless.

And if the others who once supported me that are now avoiding me have something against me, then just come out and say what it is and stop being a scaredy cat and pretending you care when you really don't!

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This post has been edited 1 time(s), it was last edited by AllentownDarkWater on 26-03-2012 at 06:45.
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You do seem to spend a lot of time moaning.

Im sorry to say this, but its the truth.

I have my share of problems, but I try not to dwell on them, nor mention them unless I think you can be of help.

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AllentownDarkWater AllentownDarkWater is a Male
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Well sorry for thinking anyone here cared about me from all the nice things they've said about me in the past. And amethyst is the only one so far who's made an attempt to get me to stick around. As of late, I think that if I died tomorrow, most people here wouldn't give a shit. Even most of the ones who last year and the year before when I first came here said so many nice things about me and told me they love me. I seriously feel like that! I do! One moment, people tell you they love you and their kind words and friendliness make you feel like for once you've found a community that feels like a family to you, and the next moment, these people who once told you they love you and have said all these nice things to make you feel welcomed are trying to distance themselves from you for such BULLSHIT reasons. It's like I don't suffer enough. Thanks. I feel REAL special *sarcasm*

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Hey Allen, I don't know you as well as some other people, but I find your posts interesting, and wouldn't want to see you go!

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Wow! Two people actually still give a shit! It's a miracle! Then again it could just be a dream for all I know/figment of imagination/etc.

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As I've said before, I wish I could do something to help. Since I don't have divine abilities, I hoped you might find something useful in what I say if I'm honest with you.

I'm sorry if I was mistaken.

I wasn't trying to tell you if you should stay or go; that's your decision. I just wanted to let you know that you're becoming so overwhelmed by the circumstances that are bothering you that you might end up having a stroke. And what good will it do anyone if you end up a prisoner in your own body, unable to communicate with the outside world?

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quote:
Originally posted by AllentownDarkWater
Wow! Two people actually still give a shit! It's a miracle! Then again it could just be a dream for all I know/figment of imagination/etc.



Allen, please come back and look at the anger in these words.

These words are a good example why many have distanced themselves from you. It's not that we don't care, it's the fact that regardless of what we say it's not enough. If we respond to this rant, but not to the next we become the enemy, you see us as against you.

Maybe the person you are ranting about had a really shitty day and needed you to listen to their drama and got more of yours instead it.

Now, a few of us have said this, so I'd like to offer visual proof. Go back and find your first ten posts. How many are rants and how many are on other topics, fun topics, things that help make stress lighter for everyone? After that, look at your last ten posts. They're all rants aren't they?

Yes, this section is for members to let off steam. However, if all you do is post in here and not participate in other activities, do you really expect people to want to come and virtually sit with you. What this has become with only posting in rants is the virtual equivalent of the angry person walking down the street yelling at anybody and everybody who gets in their way, people cross the street and duck into places they wouldn't go to avoid this person. Do you really want to continue being this person?

We can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. If you can help yourself by using some of the techniques offered above or others, then you'll find you'll become a more likable person. You might even be able to mend bridges that once were burned, or realize that your are a better, happier person without those people.

Just remember it starts with you, not with others.

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Well said Ame!

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yes, well said

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Oh yeah, forgot to mention: When I confronted one of these people about the whole thing, they were very rude and just said that they had their reasons and to get over it. How should I react to that? That's pretty two-faced behavior. Especially since this was somebody I cared about like a member of my family and looked up to. Do you know what that's like to get treated that way from somebody you look up to like that?

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I've been trying to think of how to say what I want to say that won't end with my foot in my mouth and you even angrier.

You have seemed rather angry lately. I don't know what else has happened in your life, which means I don't know how to address your concerns or help you with them.

Are you okay?

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AllentownDarkWater AllentownDarkWater is a Male
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Well let's see. Some people here I was very fond of and considered some of my best friends and thought were good role models for me just blatantly stabbed me in the back and betrayed me for no good reason at all and have no idea what kind of pain they've caused me (one of which over a comment I left on a photo that the comment I made was just a joke and they took it personal and got over offended and over sensitive by it. Another one who just says that they had their reasons and to get over it. Plus on top of that is things happening in my personal life, so yeah, everything is just peachy.

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quote:
Originally posted by AllentownDarkWater
Do you know what that's like to get treated that way from somebody you look up to like that?


Yes I do. By people in real life and virtual life, by some people on this site.

What I can tell you, is that you are just making it worse. All they are doing is laughing at you with each post that you make that shows how much power they have over you.

The best thing you can do is to act like they mean as little to you as you to them. Do your best to get on with your life.

Negative energy begets negative energy.

Trolls

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True, but I also forgot to mention that one of them called my BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD (this person's not a Gatchamania member) an airhead!! And now I'm really pissed!

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And it will annoy them mightily when you act as if it's no biggie. I said 'act.' It hurts, but by keeping it private and not showing, you take away their power over you.

It will be hard to do (I don't like getting screwed over, either, and take it far too personally), but consider it constructive revenge. They're expecting you to act a certain way. Without that reaction, they have nothing and have to go elsewhere. You win.

Humor is tricky. Someone has a bad day, words are passed, and feelings are hurt. Then we have to let it go, no matter how much we want to explain ourselves, make things right, or whatever.

Pick your battles, plan your strategy, and start enjoying yourself again.

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quote:
Originally posted by amethyst
Allen, please come back and look at the anger in these words.

These words are a good example why many have distanced themselves from you. It's not that we don't care, it's the fact that regardless of what we say it's not enough. If we respond to this rant, but not to the next we become the enemy, you see us as against you.

Maybe the person you are ranting about had a really shitty day and needed you to listen to their drama and got more of yours instead it.

Now, a few of us have said this, so I'd like to offer visual proof. Go back and find your first ten posts. How many are rants and how many are on other topics, fun topics, things that help make stress lighter for everyone? After that, look at your last ten posts. They're all rants aren't they?

Yes, this section is for members to let off steam. However, if all you do is post in here and not participate in other activities, do you really expect people to want to come and virtually sit with you. What this has become with only posting in rants is the virtual equivalent of the angry person walking down the street yelling at anybody and everybody who gets in their way, people cross the street and duck into places they wouldn't go to avoid this person. Do you really want to continue being this person?

We can't help you if you don't want to help yourself. If you can help yourself by using some of the techniques offered above or others, then you'll find you'll become a more likable person. You might even be able to mend bridges that once were burned, or realize that your are a better, happier person without those people.

Just remember it starts with you, not with others.


I think Ame sums this up pretty well Allen and I would heed her words. I have tried not to comment on your behaviour myself in the past but I believe I should.

You came to these forums from another online community complaining about being a victim of persecution and bullying, and we took you at face value without any reason to believe otherwise.

However from pretty much every post I have read of yours they have mostly been complaints about the way people treat you badly, or things that have been done to you by others.

The thing is you tend to go off the deep end about the most trivial of issues with people that are, and lets face it, essentially just acquaintances at the end of the day. These are people you have either never met or may have met once or twice in person, yet you proclaim some unyielding bond towards them.

This unnerves people Allen and this is where I think part of your problems stem from.

Saying things like you feel they were a member of your family, or your bestest friends ever, is I'm sorry to say just plain weird. There is no getting around that, it just is. No one you meet online, not even if you were shopping for a future bride, could be considered family or a best friend unless you actually spend time with that person, in person. And I mean real time, not just meeting someone a couple of times on a day out.

Let us take for example one of your recent rants where someone met you at a convention and then friended you on Facebook. Later they un-friended you to which you erupted with a rant on this forum and tried to generate some sort of hate campaign by pointing people towards their Facebook profile, something I had to warn you about incedently.

quote:
Originally posted by AllentownDarkWater
All I did was ask this person if they had anymore pictures of them in a certain costume they wore and if they had Skype.


From the quote above can you not see anything in what you have asked of them that would not be considered weird or unnerving?

This person does not know you, they met you.... once. They did however extend the courtesy of friending you on Facebook because they obviously thought you were a nice guy, as people here have done, but at some point, and your above quote elicits this point nicely, you creeped them out.

Lets me try this on yourself. Say you and I met once at a convention and I asked if we could friend on Facebook after probably spending say several hours with yourself. You think, yeah why not he seemed a nice chap, what harm can it do?

Then maybe after a few weeks I ask you for your phone number and the address of where you lived. Then I message you several times asking how you are and when we can meet next. Then after this I start asking you for photos of yourself in say a wetsuit because we had been to a surfing convention.

Would that not make you pause for a minute and think "Hey, woah there, wait a minute I met this guy once at a public event and now he wants to see pictures of me and call me up? Wtf?", I'm pretty sure it would.

Now recently you say you have fallen out with several people on this site because they are distancing themselves from you and unfriending you on Facebook.

Maybe you shouldn't be asking them why they have done this to you, but maybe ask yourself what you have done to them to make them take such action?

And if you cannot honestly think of any reason, leave it at that. Why get worked up about it? In the grand scheme of things what does it matter that some online acquaintance stops speaking to you? Does your life end? Do you lose all your money? Your health? No, so don't upset yourself.

In the end if they ever wanted to be your friend they will always come back to you and then the decision is yours whether or not to accept them.


I am now going to close this thread since I do not see anything constructive about keeping it going, please try to take what has been said here and digest it, people care Allen. Heck if I didn't I'd have banned you already Winknudge

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